IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors ina particular country from 1978 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors ina particular country from 1978 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #percentage #age #groups #cinema #visitors #ina #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line chart depicts the presentation of several
age
groups
 of cinema visitors in a certain country
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1978 and 2008.
Overall
, the ages between 14
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 over 50
years
 have
similarity
Fix the agreement mistake
similarities
show examples
 which is the percentage was significantly decreased in 1988. In 2008, the ages started from 14 until 49
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 steadily and only
groups
 of more than 50
years
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
, in the same year. In 1978, a
group
of
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
 14
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 24 had
starting
Correct article usage
a starting
show examples
 point
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 90 per
cent
. But, decreased sharply around 79 per
cent
 in 1988.
Then
, hit the same numbers by like in 1978 in
years
 1998. Another
group
,
age
 25 until 34 in 1978 had
lower
Add an article
a lower
show examples
 number than before
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
, which was 80 per
cent
.
However
, they
also
 experienced degradation in 1988 approximately 60 per
cent
. Move to other
groups
,
age
 35 until 49 in 1978 got a total percentage
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 60 per
cent
 and dropped from time to time until
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1998.
Nevertheless
, rose up again in presentation.
Last
,
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
of
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
 above 50
years
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
rank
Replace the word
ranked
show examples
 among other
groups
 which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 only 40 per
cent
 in 1978. Surprisingly, in 2008 the line trend was up.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups, years, group, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼

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