The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors ina particular country from 1978 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the percentage of different age groups of cinema visitors ina particular country from 1978 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart depicts the presentation of several
age
groups
of cinema visitors in a certain country
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
1978 and 2008.
Overall
, the ages between 14
until
Correct word choice
and
show examples
over 50
years
have
similarity
Fix the agreement mistake
similarities
show examples
which is the percentage was significantly decreased in 1988. In 2008, the ages started from 14 until 49
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
steadily and only
groups
of more than 50
years
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
, in the same year. In 1978, a
group
of
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
14
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
24 had
starting
Correct article usage
a starting
show examples
point
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
90 per
cent
. But, decreased sharply around 79 per
cent
in 1988.
Then
, hit the same numbers by like in 1978 in
years
1998. Another
group
,
age
25 until 34 in 1978 had
lower
Add an article
a lower
show examples
number than before
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
, which was 80 per
cent
.
However
, they
also
experienced degradation in 1988 approximately 60 per
cent
. Move to other
groups
,
age
35 until 49 in 1978 got a total percentage
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
60 per
cent
and dropped from time to time until
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1998.
Nevertheless
, rose up again in presentation.
Last
,
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
of
Change preposition
aged
show examples
age
above 50
years
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
rank
Replace the word
ranked
show examples
among other
groups
which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
only 40 per
cent
in 1978. Surprisingly, in 2008 the line trend was up.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups, years, group, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: