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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts compare the percentage of users across different age groups on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube.

The pie charts compare the percentage of users across different age groups on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube.
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The pie charts give detailed information about the proportions of different-aged
users
Use synonyms
 on different online platforms, namely
Twitter
Use synonyms
, Facebook, and YouTube.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is notable that adults make up the majority of the
users
Use synonyms
 on almost all platforms,
in contrast
Linking Words
, seniors show the reverse.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 worth mentioning that the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 aged between 50 and 64 is almost the same in the given categories. Regarding the rates of individuals using
Twitter
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 aged 18–34 are responsible for the majority of
Twitter
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 at 40 (the highest
figure
Use synonyms
 in the pie charts).
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the rate of adults is 29%, ranking second in terms of using
Twitter
Use synonyms
, that of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 50–64 is 18%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for teenagers is 9%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 for seniors is 4% (the lowest
figure
Use synonyms
 in the pie charts). When it comes to the percentages of Facebook
users
Use synonyms
, 30% of the
users
Use synonyms
 are
people
Use synonyms
 between the ages of 35 and 49, ranking first in terms of using Facebook.
Next,
Linking Words
the percentage of folks at the age of 18–34 is 29%, whilst that of folks at the age of 50–64 is 19%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 14% of the
users
Use synonyms
 are teenagers, whilst 8% of the
users
Use synonyms
 are golden-aged
people
Use synonyms
. As for the proportion of YouTube
users
Use synonyms
, the proportion of grownups is 29%, which is higher by 3% than that of 18- to 34-year-old individuals.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of
users
Use synonyms
 aged 50–64 is twice as high as that of
users
Use synonyms
 aged 65+, at 20% and 10% respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for teens using YouTube is 15%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words users, twitter, people, figure with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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