The graph below shows the results of a survey on the percentage of people who drank soft drinks every day over 7 day period in 2019 in the 4 countries of the United Kingdom.

The graph below shows the results of a survey on the percentage of people who drank soft drinks every day over 7 day period in 2019 in the 4 countries of the United Kingdom.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph demonstrates the survey report which represents the proportion of cold beverage
consumers
Use synonyms
on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis for about a week in the UK for the year 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the survey was conducted among the citizens aged 15 and above. The people of almost all the nations of the United Kingdom
Use synonyms
drinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
drink
show examples
soft
drinks
Use synonyms
every day.
However
Linking Words
, the information about
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
was not provided in the results. Belgium stood ahead of all the countries with about 20% of its population consuming sweetened
drinks
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every single day of the week.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the least was reported with Estonia which had hardly one-fourth of the drinkers in Belgium.
Moreover
Linking Words
, about 12% of the
consumers
Use synonyms
were listed in the countries namely, Malta, Germany, Hungary, Poland,
Bugaria
Correct your spelling
Bulgaria
, Czechia,
Croatia
Correct word choice
and Croatia
show examples
. Most of the countries including France, Austria, Portugal, Sweden, Denmark, and Ireland had less than 10% of the soft drink users
whereas
Linking Words
Spain,
Luxemberg
Correct your spelling
Luxembourg
and Italy
consumers
Use synonyms
constitute just about 5%.
However
Linking Words
, Greece, Romania, and Finland exhibited
lessthan
Correct your spelling
less than
5
Correct article usage
a 5
show examples
% contribution.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Norway managed to hold above 5%
beverage
Change preposition
of beverage
show examples
consumers
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there were fluctuations in the consumption of soft
drinks
Use synonyms
in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of the people of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
EU.
Submitted by sivaleelamahendra1214 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, moreover".
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumers, drinks with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: