You recently went to concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer Say how you feel about his performance Give detail of your musical activities Explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities.
Dear Sherry,
I am Andy from Hong Kong, I am writing
this
letter regarding my impression while
attending the summer music festival held in Taiwan.
It is the first time I have had a chance to listen live performance from you. Your performance is impeccable, I wet my eye when you sang the most popular song. Moreover
, I really appreciate on
your effort to interact with the audience which Change preposition
apply
create
a unique experience Change the verb form
creates
to
everyone in Change preposition
for
this
event.
I am part-time
singer who will play busking at Add an article
a part-time
local
plaza during Add an article
the local
weekend
. Mostly I will create my tuned version of some famous songs from different singers across the world.
By the way, I Add an article
the weekend
will
be grateful if you could spare Wrong verb form
would
sometimes
Correct your spelling
some time
on
listen and comment Change preposition
to
my
demo which Change preposition
on my
in
enclosed Correct your spelling
is
on
Change preposition
in
this
letter. It will be benefit
to me greatly Replace the word
beneficial
has
some Change the verb form
to have
suggestion
from professional Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
singer
like you.
I look forward to hearing back from you
Best Regards,
AndyFix the agreement mistake
singers
Submitted by andy1031227 on
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coherence cohesion
While the letter effectively conveys your admiration and requests assistance, a few minor grammatical errors hinder the overall clarity. Examples include 'spare sometimes on listen and comment' which should be 'spare some time to listen and comment.'
task achievement
To improve task achievement, you might consider adding more specific details about how feedback can aid your musical activities, potentially mentioning any specific goals you have or areas where you seek improvement.
task achievement
The letter provides a heartfelt appreciation of the performance and clear details about your musical activities.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate and respectful, enhancing the formal tone of the letter.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph presents a distinct idea, contributing to the overall clarity of the letter.