IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

your english-speaking friend who lives in your town has asked for your advice about learning a new sport. write an email to your friend. in your email. recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn recommend a new sport that would be suitable for your friend to learn explain how your friend could learn this sport suggest that you both learn this sport together

#friend #lives #town #advice #sport #email
Dear Mary, How are you? I hope you are doing well! It was a wonderful time to have
gathering
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a gathering
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 with you and Simon
last
 month. Hope that we will meet again soon. As you mentioned that you would like to learn a new sport lately, I would recommend you to try swimming. There are many trial lessons for beginners to try and see whether you like the professional trainers and venues or not in different swimming clubs. They are usually half of
price
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the price
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 if you are visiting for the first time.
In addition
, I can introduce my cousin who is a private swimming coach to you if you would like to learn it in a quiet and
high privacy
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high-privacy
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 swimming pool.
Besides
, I am attending
to
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apply
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a swimming course organised by my
club house
Correct your spelling
clubhouse
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in
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apply
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the
Correct determiner usage
this
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 coming Friday
for
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to
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strengthen
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strengthening
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 my muscles.
Do
Verb problem
Are
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 you keen to join me? Please let me know if you are coming too before Wednesday
,
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apply
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 so that I can inform the organisers. Best regards, Susan Mayer
Submitted by andy1031227 on

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coherence cohesion
Your email is well-organized and follows a coherent structure. You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which makes your message easy to follow. However, you can improve by adding a bit more detail in your explanation of how your friend could learn the sport, such as different swimming techniques or common challenges and how to overcome them.
task achievement
Your task response is strong as you have effectively recommended a sport, explained how your friend could learn it, and suggested learning it together. To enhance your response, provide more specific examples of beginner-friendly swimming drills or resources, such as online tutorials or books, that your friend can use.
task achievement
You have a clear, friendly, and conversational tone which is perfect for an email to a friend. This makes your message engaging and personal.
coherence cohesion
You have presented your ideas in a logical sequence which makes your advice easy to understand and follow. The introduction and conclusion are both strong and helpful for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advice
  • recommend
  • suitable
  • learn
  • coach
  • lessons
  • tutorial videos
  • practice
  • tennis club
  • group
  • schedule
  • regularly
  • participants
  • tournaments
  • friendly matches
What to do next:
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