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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.
The bar chart compares the amount of citizens who owned a
house
Use synonyms
 with citizens who lived in rented accommodations in two countries (England and Wales) between 1918 and 2011. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is readily apparent that the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 lived in rented accommodations in the past compared to nowadays.
Also
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 had an upward trend, for
households
Use synonyms
 in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 was downward. In 1918, more than 75% of individuals lived in a rented
house
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
, only 23% of
people
Use synonyms
 in England and Wales had their own
house
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, in 1939,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 fell to just below 70%, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
households
Use synonyms
 in owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 experienced an increase, reaching 32%. Interestingly, both figures remained stable until 1953. From 1953 to 1971, the figures continued to their past trend and both became 50% by 1971. From
then
Linking Words
, the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who had their own
house
Use synonyms
 saw a dramatic increase, reaching a new peak of 68% in 2001.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
households
Use synonyms
 in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 experienced a sharp decrease, falling to just above 30%.
Finally
Linking Words
, in 2011, the percentage of individuals who had a
house
Use synonyms
 saw a slight decrease and fell to 63%,
while
Linking Words
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 experienced a small increase, reaching just above 35%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words house, people, figure, households, accommodation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • tenancy
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • proportion
  • residence
  • dwelling
  • shift
  • transition
  • migration
  • fluctuate
  • stabilize
  • rise
  • fall
  • increase
  • decrease
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