The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.--DELETED LINK--

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.--DELETED LINK--
The graph demonstrates the count of
books
read by the male and female population at Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2014.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the reading habit was increased among both the genders.
However
,
gents
Correct article usage
the gents
show examples
community read more
books
than
their
Change the word
the
show examples
opposite gender, which exhibited a downward trend over the course of time.
Initially
, in the year 2011, about 3000
books
were studied by men
whereas
their
number
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by 2000 in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of women. By the year 2012, males went through 4000
books
.
In
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
females verified double the
books
read by men.
Moreover
, the
number
of
books
studied by both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
genders was
augmented
Verb problem
increased
show examples
till 2013 and at that point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
time, an identical
number
of
books
were studied by both of them which is about 10000.
However
, from the year 2013, the
number
of
books
read by females was diminished and
finally
by 2014 they read about 7000
books
.
In contrast
, the
books
Correct quantifier usage
number of books
show examples
read by males
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased over time and
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
they read double the
number
of
books
studied by females.
Submitted by sivaleelamahendra1214 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, however, in contrast".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words books, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!