IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.

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Dear Sir or Madam, I, Nihal Shetty, head of the purchasing department, am writing to you to raise a concern over the conduct of an intern hired in the sales department
last
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 month.
Firstly
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, the said employee has been caught staring at the female employees of our department numerous times.
Moreover
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, the younger women have complained about him making passes at them during the breaks and after working hours
while
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 leaving the office premises.
Further
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, to gain more information on
this
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 issue, I enquired with all of my team members individually and most of them had to say the same thing about him.
Subsequently
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, I closely observed his way of talking to the opposite sex for a few days and found all the claims made to be true. I would like to hereby request you issue a strict warning to the concerned person and make him aware of the company rules against sexual harassment in the workplace. Thank you for your time. Yours faithfully, Nihal Shetty.

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logical structure
Consider refining the structure to ensure that each paragraph has a single, clear idea to enhance readability.
single idea per paragraph
Make sure each paragraph introduces only one idea or point to avoid any potential confusion.
greeting and closing
The letter has an appropriate greeting and closing, which contributes to a formal tone suitable for addressing an HR manager.
complete response
The letter provides a clear and complete response to the task with thorough details about the problem and suggestions for resolution.
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