IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the proportion of people's total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.

The chart below shows the proportion of people's total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.
#proportion #people #european #country #commodities #services
The
supplied
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie charts indicate the percentage of
Correct article usage
the communitie's
show examples
communitie's
Correct your spelling
community's
expenditure
 in a distinguished country which was spent on various staff in 1958 and 2008. It can be clearly seen that the highest amount of
money
 was
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
 on purchasing clothes in the past.
However
,
people
 did not prefer to spend their wages on travel and transport over the period.(Which was the lowest proportion of
expenditure
 over the period). In 1958,nearly a third of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 chose to spend their salary on clothing (%32) in a European country(which was the highest proportion of
spendig
Correct your spelling
spending
 over the whole year),compared to
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
money
 spent on clothes at %12 in 2008.
Moreover
,just under a quarter of
people
 at %22 liked to purchase houses in 1958.Whilst,32 per cent of the communities tended to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
 their
money
 on housing in 2008.
In addition
,precisely %18 of
people
 were interested in spending their income on entertainment in 1958,just ahead of
people
 who
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to spend their salary on entertainment at %16 in 2008.
In contrast
,a tiny fraction of
people
 (%7) chose to spend their
money
 on luxury goods in 1958,as opposed to
people
 who were keen on spending wages on luxury goods at %17 in 2008.
Following
this
,the number of
people
 who liked to spend their
money
 on travel or
trasport
Correct your spelling
transport
 was %13 in 1958.
While
 the percentage of
money
expenditure
 on travel and transport was %6 in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 country in 2008.(Which was the lowest amount of
expenditure
 over the period).
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, money, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!