The chart below shows the proportion of people's total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.

#proportion #people #european #country #commodities #services

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The provided pie graph gives information about the percentage of consumption of surfaces in a certain country in Europe and individual years(1958 and 2008).

Overall

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, it can be seen that clothing was the highest consumer in the first year,

while

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housing was the most common spender in the second year.

However

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initially

Add a comma

initially,

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luxury goods and food were the lowest amount,

while

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travel and transportation were the least in the second year.

To begin

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with, the housing sector was

initially

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20% and rose significantly to 32.

Moreover

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, luxury goods and food witnessed a noticeable increase in 2008. It stood at 7% and 8% respectively in 1958,

while

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it had a gradual rise in 2008 17% for the two services.

On the other hand

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, the remaining commodities experienced a sharp decrease. Spent 30% of buying clothes in 1958, but it had a dramatic drop in 2008 by 12 percentage.

Also

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, entertainment section had a slight decline in 2008 from 18% to 16%.

In addition

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, the travelling and transportation sector declined to 6% in 2008.

Submitted by fatmahaleesa on Sun Jul 21 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially, while".

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

172 words

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The chart below shows the proportion of people's total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.

In many countries are investing new technology to deal with the public. Why it is happening? Do you think it is an appropriate use of goverment money?

Nowadays there is a tendancy to relocate overseas for lucrative jobs.While a faction of people holds the notion that this movement is challanging (?)for juveniles, others argue that it is better for children.

Childood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsilbility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?