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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation.Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you are going to do work experience. In your letter thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience explain what you hope to learn from the work experience ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do

#three #months #work #organisation #manager #opportunity #hope #questions
Dear Sir or Madam, I hope
this
 email finds you
will
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well
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. I am writing regarding an opportunity
of
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for
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 work experience in your esteemed organisation.
Also
, I have some important questions that I want to ask about. I would like to thank you for giving me
this
 great chance, I am very sure that I will do my best.
I
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I am
I was
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really excited to start working and meeting your great staff members. I am totally
confiedent
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confident
 that I will play an effective part, that will lead to
a
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apply
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great
succuss
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success
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. As I mentioned in the interview,
that
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apply
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I am a finance fresh graduate student, and I am planning to
develpe
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develop
 my skills
regarding
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in
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this
filed
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field
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.
Therefore
, I am expecting
dealing
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to deal
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 with financial operation tasks, that
foucs
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focus
 on improving my critical thinking skills, which will help me in my career life.
In addition
 to that, I am curious about the salary incomes, which as far as I know that it's ranged between 5K and 8K. So
Please
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please
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 let me know as soon as possible. Looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you again, Kind regards, Nouf Mut,
Submitted by noufxmut on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next.
task achievement
Work on reducing minor grammatical errors and typos like 'succuss' instead of 'success', 'develop' instead of 'develpe', and 'filed' instead of 'field'.
task achievement
You have clearly thanked the manager for the opportunity and expressed enthusiasm for the position, which is essential for a positive tone.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are polite and well-structured, which enhances the overall coherence of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • appreciative
  • hands-on experience
  • skill enhancement
  • networking opportunities
  • mentorship
  • organisational structure
  • company ethos
  • onboarding process
  • professional development
  • collaborative environment
  • shadowing
  • logistics
  • corporate attire
  • reporting hierarchy
  • team dynamics
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