You are soon going to spend three months doing work experience in an organisation.Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you are going to do work experience. In your letter thank the manager for the opportunity to do work experience explain what you hope to learn from the work experience ask some questions about the work experience you are going to do

#three #months #work #organisation #manager #opportunity #hope #questions

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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope

this

email finds you

will

Correct your spelling

well

show examples

. I am writing regarding an opportunity

Change preposition

for

show examples

work experience in your esteemed organisation.

Also

, I have some important questions that I want to ask about. I would like to thank you for giving me

this

great chance, I am very sure that I will do my best.

Add a verb

I am

I was

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really excited to start working and meeting your great staff members. I am totally

confiedent

Correct your spelling

confident

that I will play an effective part, that will lead to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great

succuss

Correct your spelling

success

show examples

. As I mentioned in the interview,

that

Correct word choice

apply

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I am a finance fresh graduate student, and I am planning to

develpe

Correct your spelling

develop

my skills

regarding

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show examples

this

filed

Correct your spelling

field

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Therefore

, I am expecting

dealing

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to deal

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with financial operation tasks, that

foucs

Correct your spelling

focus

on improving my critical thinking skills, which will help me in my career life.

In addition

to that, I am curious about the salary incomes, which as far as I know that it's ranged between 5K and 8K. So

Please

Fix capitalization

please

show examples

let me know as soon as possible. Looking forward to hearing from you. Thank you again, Kind regards, Nouf Mut,

Submitted by noufxmut on Mon Jul 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next.

task achievement

Work on reducing minor grammatical errors and typos like 'succuss' instead of 'success', 'develop' instead of 'develpe', and 'filed' instead of 'field'.

task achievement

You have clearly thanked the manager for the opportunity and expressed enthusiasm for the position, which is essential for a positive tone.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are polite and well-structured, which enhances the overall coherence of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

184 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

appreciative
hands-on experience
skill enhancement
networking opportunities
mentorship
organisational structure
company ethos
onboarding process
professional development
collaborative environment
shadowing
logistics
corporate attire
reporting hierarchy
team dynamics

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When researching people's personalities and abilities, scientists debate the role that their biological genes play compared to the impact of their environment, including their experiences as they grow up. Which do you think is a more powerful influence– genetics or environment? Why?

Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries ,there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Task 2 Young people are much more aware of and concerned about issues like the environment, poverty, and animal welfare than previous generations. what is your own opinion?