IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the process for making sugar from sugarcane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagrams below show the process for making sugar from sugarcane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#diagrams #show #process #sugar #sugarcane #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The figures tell us
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
how to produce
sugar
Use synonyms
 from sugarcane.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are seven steps to turn
Use synonyms
sugarcanes
Fix the agreement mistake
sugarcane
show examples
 into
sugar
Use synonyms
 that we can consume in our daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. The process
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 divided into two main stages, in the field and in the
factory
Use synonyms
. The processes in the field
were begin
Change the verb form
were begun
show examples
 by growing the
sugarcanes
Use synonyms
 for about 12-18 months. When the
Use synonyms
sugarcanes
Fix the agreement mistake
sugarcane
show examples
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 old enough,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
will
Verb problem
can
show examples
 be harvested manually by the farmers or with
help
Correct article usage
the help
show examples
 of machines.
Then
Linking Words
, the
sugarcanes
Use synonyms
 were brought into the
factory
Use synonyms
 for the next stages. The processes in the
factory
Use synonyms
 were started after the
sugarcanes
Use synonyms
will be
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
brougt
Correct your spelling
brought
 into the
factory
Use synonyms
. After that, the
sugarcanes
Use synonyms
 were crushed with the machine to get the juice from it.
Next,
Linking Words
the juice was purified using
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
 filter. After that, the purified juice will be poured into
hot
Add an article
a hot
show examples
 evaporator that will turn it into syrup.
Then
Linking Words
, the syrup will be poured into
centrifuge
Add an article
a centrifuge
show examples
 machine which
separated
Wrong verb form
separates
show examples
 the
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals from the syrup.
Last
Linking Words
, the
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals will be dried and cooled.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, sugarcanes, factory with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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