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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two pie charts below show total world energy consumption and electricity generation for last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #show #world #energy #consumption #electricity #generation #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The first bar graph depicts the percentage of the total amount of
energy
 consumed
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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,
while
 the second chart illustrates the share of
world
electricity
 generation by different
energy
sources
last
 year.
Overall
, it is readily apparent that the majority of the
world
's power
sources
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 consumed using oil,
while
 coal was the key raw material used to generate
electricity
. As can be seen in the graph, oil, coal and gas were the three major
sources
 of
energy
 that the
world
 consumed
from
Change preposition
apply
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, with the proportion of all combined equals
to
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apply
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over 80% of the total amount.
However
, there were
also
 other minor
sources
,
such
 as combustible renewables and waste, nuclear power, and hydropower, accounting for 10.6%, 6.5% and 2.2%, respectively. Other
sources
 unknown constituted
of
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apply
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less than 1% of the total
energy
 consumed. In terms of
electricity
 production, it is obvious that the main source was
from
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apply
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coal, at almost 40%. The second was gas, which constituted one-fourth of
electricity
 generation globally. Next
were
Change the verb form
was
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 power from hydro dams and nuclear plants, which shared
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 figure at around 16%. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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, no significant amount of
energy
 was generated using oil and other raw materials, as both combined account for less than 10%.
Submitted by emteeme on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, world, electricity, sources with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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