In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Health
is a critical issue that
people
around the world are concerning. At present, there are selected countries where
people
have free
access
to healthcare
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
,
while
in many others, its citizens have to spend a lot of money to monitor their
health
and cure their illnesses. In my opinion, it should be universal that
access
to medical care is free because
this
is a must-do to keep
labour
Correct article usage
the labour
show examples
force of a country strong and productive and it is a basic
rights
Change the noun form
right
show examples
that
people
around the world are entitled to. It is undeniable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical services are expensive, whether it be an annual check-up or a required surgical operation. An all-in
costs
Fix the agreement mistake
cost
show examples
for a c-section to deliver a baby can be up to $1000. With
this
mass amount of money required to save
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
, some
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
are not capable
to cover
Change preposition
of covering
show examples
all the expenses.
Therefore
, it is the responsibility of individuals or their families to gather
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
support needed if they must go through
such
procedure
Correct article usage
a procedure
show examples
.
However
, I believe that the
government
can do more to support
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
citizens. With that being said, one must consider that a healthy workforce can contribute to the country's economic prosperity. When it is related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national economic growth, I think, the
government
has a role to play. Two of the mechanisms that the
government
can adopt to ensure a healthy labour force are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
access
to healthcare
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
and the encouragement
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
its
people
to do frequent
health
check-ups. Another important justification that the
government
should provide its residents free
access
to healthcare
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
is that it is clearly a basic need. Nobody
wants
Add the particle
wants to
show examples
stay home when they are sick; they
also
want to visit clinics to check and understand what is wrong with their
health
. Everyone wants to lead a healthy life. All in all, I strongly agree that
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
services should be freely accessible to all, and the
government
should be responsible for the cost related to
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these services
show examples
service
. By doing so, the country would have a healthy human resource who can contribute significantly to the economic development.
Also
, it is the most basic thing that
people
need in order to live happily.
Submitted by emteeme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task and maintained a consistent stance throughout the essay. However, the argument could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to better support your main points. Consider including statistics, case studies or real-life examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph logically follows the previous one, making the argument easy to follow. However, the transitions between some paragraphs could be smoother. Using more transitional phrases can help enhance the flow of your arguments.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction is strong, clearly stating your stance and outlining the main points you intend to discuss. This sets a clear direction for the essay.
supported main points
You have provided supporting points that are relevant to your argument, making your essay persuasive. This demonstrates your ability to build a logical argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal coverage
  • equity
  • fundamental human right
  • out-of-pocket expenses
  • financial hardship
  • preventative measures
  • social contract
  • quality of care
  • high demand
  • limited resources
  • tax implications
  • budget priorities
  • universal healthcare systems
  • public health
  • disease burden
What to do next:
Look at other essays: