The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart depicts the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of criminal cases recorded between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales, the crimes were categorized into car theft, house burgling, and street robbery.
Overall
, three types of crimes demonstrated an increasing trend.
According to
the chart, the most prominent change was the
number
of car thefts, which surged from 0.40 million in 1970 to 1.00 million in 2005. The
number
climbed slowly between 1970 and 1990,
however
, it skyrocketed from 1.00 to 1.60 in 1995. After that, a drop could
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
seen in 2000 and 2005,
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
the
number
dipped to 1.00 in 2005.
On the other hand
, the
number
of house
burglings
Correct your spelling
burglars
and street robberies
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
really different from the
number
of car thefts, they only increased by a small
number
. For house
burgling
Replace the word
burglary
show examples
, the
number
was 0.20 in 1970,
then
it soared to 0.90 in 1980,
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
that, it
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
to 0.60 in 1985. After that, a bounce could be seen between 1985 and 2000.
Finally
, it dropped to 0.50 in 2005. As for street robbery, it climbed
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a slightly slow speed, which increased from 0.10 in 1970 to 0.40 in 2005.
Submitted by RaymondHuang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • rate
  • significant
  • incidence
  • decline
  • increase
  • statistics
  • data
  • crime rate
  • comparison
  • period
  • variations
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!