The graph below shows the percentage of part- time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph illustrates the percentage of part-time employees in four different countries of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

, the proportion of

part–time

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

workers in three of the countries which

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

England, Northern Ireland and Wales in 1980 is greater than that in 2010. It can be seen that Scotland is the only

county

Correct your spelling

country

show examples

in the United Kingdom which has a higher number of part-time workers in 2010.

Firstly

Linking Words

, Northern Ireland suffered a slight decrease in the

people

Correct quantifier usage

number of people

show examples

working part-time as the percentage dropped from about 15% in 1980 to 13% in 2010. England

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

a percentage of part-time employees of over 20% in 1980.

Whereas

Linking Words

in 2010, it

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

approximately 31%. It is noticeable that the number of part-time workers increased in 31years.

Similarly

Linking Words

, in both Scotland and Wales, there are more people working as a part-time employee in 1980 compared to 2010.

However

Linking Words

, Scotland experienced a relatively dramatic increase of 8

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

than that of Wales which is 3

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

point.

Submitted by cherrychan926 on Mon Jul 22 2024

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

166 words

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