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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of international applicants to the universities of one European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of international applicants to the universities of one European country. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given chart illustrates the number of international attendances
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
universities
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
European
Use synonyms
 nation. It can be seen that
China
Use synonyms
 and America both hold the most significant
Use synonyms
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the tiniest statistic belonged to
Russia
Use synonyms
. In 2004, there were around 27000 Chinese students who
apply
Wrong verb form
applied
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
universities
Use synonyms
 in a
European
Use synonyms
 country
while
Linking Words
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 for Russian was 2500. Plus, there were roughly 13000
applicants
Use synonyms
 from
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 which is 6000 bigger than it
from
Add a missing verb
is from
show examples
Japan
Use synonyms
. In the next year,
applicants
Use synonyms
 from
China
Use synonyms
decrease
Change the form of the verb
decreased
show examples
 to 23000 which is 8000 higher than
it
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 from the US. Meanwhile, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for
Russia
Use synonyms
 was 2000 and
Japan
Use synonyms
 remained stable.in 2006, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
equality in
participations
Fix the agreement mistake
participation
show examples
 in
universities
Use synonyms
 of one
European
Use synonyms
 nation from
China
Use synonyms
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 (around 17000). There were 2500 Russian students who
attend
Wrong verb form
attended
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
universities
Use synonyms
 which is 4500
lesser
Correct word choice
less
show examples
 than
Japan
Use synonyms
. In the next year,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
European
Use synonyms
 nation witnessed 23000
applicants
Use synonyms
 from the US to the
universities
Use synonyms
 which is 4000 huger
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
China
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 participants for
Russia
Use synonyms
 were around 2000.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, there were nearly 10000
Japannese
Correct your spelling
Japanese
 students who
go
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 to
universities
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one
European
Use synonyms
 area. In the year after, the number of
applicants
Use synonyms
 from the US was 27000 which is one of the highest
Use synonyms
figure
Change to a plural noun
figures
show examples
 in the chart
while
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the statistic
show examples
statistic
Fix the agreement mistake
statistics
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
China
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 slightly higher than 15000.
In addition
Linking Words
, there were 2700 attendances from
Russia
Use synonyms
 which is 7300 smaller than
Japan
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words universities, european, china, figure, russia, applicants, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international applicants
  • universities
  • European country
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • fluctuation
  • growth
  • decline
  • peaks
  • troughs
  • applicants
  • institutions
  • attracting
  • seasonal trends
  • specific years
  • significant changes
  • policy changes
  • global events
  • diversity
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