The most important aim of science should be to improve the people's lives . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives

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These days ,

science

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has become a crucial segment of our

lives

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. Some

people

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assume that the core objective of technology should be to better the individual's

lives

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. I totally agree with

this

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idea and In

this

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essay , I will support my opinion with examples .

Firstly

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science

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enlarged the average life span of

people

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.In

the

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apply

show examples

recent years,seven out of eight babies died before reaching their first birthday but now with the advancement in the medical field ailments can be easily controlled .

For instance

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,in 2022, American laboratories discovered the COVID-19 vaccine which secured the

lives

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of numerous

people

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across the world.

Furthermore

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, transportation has become more convenient

due to

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technological innovations.

For example

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last

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year in India , NASA inaugurated the automatic driverless train to

made

Wrong verb form

make

show examples

the

lives

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people

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too much comfortable .

Moreover

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,It reduced the travel time and connected several stations from Delhi to Hyderabad .

Conversely

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, excessive use of internet makes the children

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

addict

Replace the word

addicted

show examples

and

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also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

unhealthy because they spend most of their time on smartphones and other appliances which weakens their eyesight and

also

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they get tired . In conclusion, the main motive of

science

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should be to provide

people

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with modern facilities. I personally believe that

science

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should make more innovations for the development of humans .

Submitted by mianraza686 on Mon Jul 22 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear standpoint and supports it with relevant examples. However, to improve, ensure that ideas are consistently expanded upon with more depth. For instance, adding more detailed explanations regarding how transportation advancements impact daily life would strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Focus on reducing spelling errors (e.g., 'assume' should be 'believe') and grammatical mistakes (e.g., 'to made' should be 'to make'). Additionally, avoid repetitive phrases like 'science should' and vary sentence structures for better readability.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the cohesion of the essay by using a variety of linking words. Phrases like 'Furthermore' and 'for example' are helpful, but adding variety will create a smoother flow of ideas. Organize ideas in a more logically structured manner to ensure each paragraph transitions seamlessly to the next.

coherence cohesion

In the introduction, be clearer about the extent to which you agree or disagree, and maintain that clarity throughout the essay. For the conclusion, ensure it reinforces your key points and aligns with the body paragraphs.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt directly and clearly states the writer’s viewpoint.

task achievement

Relevant examples were provided to support the points, such as the COVID-19 vaccine and automatic driverless trains.

coherence cohesion

The basic structure of introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is maintained, making the essay easy to follow.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a good effort to use linking words like 'Firstly' and 'Furthermore', which helps in guiding the reader through the points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

218 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science should be to improve the people's lives . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

The most important aim of science should be to improve patient's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Task 2. Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects equally. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subjects that they are best at or that they find the most interesting.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.