Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old worker with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Recently, many industries transitioned from experienced employees to fresh graduates. Some believe
that is
an unwise decision, considering the younger generation still lacks experience. I totally disagree with this
sentiment because regeneration brings benefits such
as fostering innovation for companies and also
the health of veteran staff can impact in
production.
One of the major benefits of turnover Change preposition
apply
workers
is that newcomers will gain fresh ideas needed for companies' future. With their continuosly
updated and groundbreaking knowledge, they enhance the ability of organizations to keep pace with market and technological revolutions. Correct your spelling
continuously
While
some may argue that younger employees
inexperienced, their creativity and technological proficiency can often compensate for Add a verb
employees are
employees were
this
, driving innovations and growth. Research has shown that 9 out of 10 millennials are more creative and advanced in technology than the older generation. This
means that replacing seasoned old professionals with the
new and young resources is not a bad idea.
Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, the stamina of long-term employees tends to decrease as they age. This
is mostly due the
fact that the human body has limits, and working for extended periods can have a detrimental impact on Change preposition
to the
overall
health and energy levels. For instance
, usually workers
perform their duties for four or five hours before taking breaks, but senior workers
typically need to relax after working for two hours. In the end, their productivity can disrupt the production levels and may ultimately prevent the company from reaching its target achievement.
In conclusion, when an industry replacing expert mature workers
with mz
generations is not always Correct your spelling
new
terrible
idea. Add an article
a terrible
On the contrary
, it can provide advantages for advancement in market competition. The physical limitations of older workers
can also
impact productivity levels. Therefore
, it is wise for industries to embrace a strategy workforce
regeneration, ensuring a dynamic and competitive edge in the market.Change preposition
of workforce
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task achievement
Ensure all ideas are thoroughly explained and supported with relevant details. For instance, explain more how technological proficiency among younger employees directly leads to measurable benefits for the company.
task achievement
Avoid small grammatical errors and make sure points are clearly presented. For example, 'Regenerating the workforce brings benefits such as fostering innovation' can be clearer with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions to ensure smooth flow and connectivity between different points. For example, use phrases like 'additionally' or 'furthermore' to link ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical connection between ideas by better integrating contrasting views. For example, more thoroughly address and counter the argument about inexperience among younger staff.
task achievement
The essay addresses an important issue of workforce replacement and discusses it from multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay has relevant examples, like the statistic about millennials' creativity and technological proficiency, which strengthen the argument.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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