Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old worker with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, many industries transitioned from experienced employees to fresh graduates. Some believe
that is
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an unwise decision, considering the younger generation still lacks experience. I totally disagree with
this
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sentiment because regeneration brings benefits
such
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as fostering innovation for companies and
also
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the health of veteran staff can impact
in
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production. One of the major benefits of turnover
workers
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is that newcomers will gain fresh ideas needed for companies' future. With their
continuosly
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continuously
updated and groundbreaking knowledge, they enhance the ability of organizations to keep pace with market and technological revolutions.
While
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some may argue that younger
employees
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employees are
employees were
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inexperienced, their creativity and technological proficiency can often compensate for
this
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, driving innovations and growth. Research has shown that 9 out of 10 millennials are more creative and advanced in technology than the older generation.
This
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means that replacing seasoned old professionals with
the
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apply
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new and young resources is not a bad idea.
Moreover
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, the stamina of long-term employees tends to decrease as they age.
This
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is mostly due
the
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to the
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fact that the human body has limits, and working for extended periods can have a detrimental impact on
overall
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health and energy levels.
For instance
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, usually
workers
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perform their duties for four or five hours before taking breaks, but senior
workers
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typically need to relax after working for two hours. In the end, their productivity can disrupt the production levels and may ultimately prevent the company from reaching its target achievement. In conclusion, when an industry replacing expert mature
workers
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with
mz
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new
generations is not always
terrible
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a terrible
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idea.
On the contrary
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, it can provide advantages for advancement in market competition. The physical limitations of older
workers
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can
also
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impact productivity levels.
Therefore
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, it is wise for industries to embrace a strategy
workforce
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of workforce
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regeneration, ensuring a dynamic and competitive edge in the market.
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task achievement
Ensure all ideas are thoroughly explained and supported with relevant details. For instance, explain more how technological proficiency among younger employees directly leads to measurable benefits for the company.
task achievement
Avoid small grammatical errors and make sure points are clearly presented. For example, 'Regenerating the workforce brings benefits such as fostering innovation' can be clearer with more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions to ensure smooth flow and connectivity between different points. For example, use phrases like 'additionally' or 'furthermore' to link ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical connection between ideas by better integrating contrasting views. For example, more thoroughly address and counter the argument about inexperience among younger staff.
task achievement
The essay addresses an important issue of workforce replacement and discusses it from multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a clear framework for the essay.
task achievement
The essay has relevant examples, like the statistic about millennials' creativity and technological proficiency, which strengthen the argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • invaluable knowledge
  • professional networks
  • business development
  • mentorship
  • training opportunities
  • fresh ideas
  • adaptable
  • new technologies
  • up-to-date education
  • dynamic workforce
  • well-rounded workforce
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