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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart shows the percentage of people in one country, by age group, who visited one or more museums in 2006, 2011 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the percentage of people in one country, by age group, who visited one or more museums in 2006, 2011 and 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given bar chart presents the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of individuals in a particular country who visited one or more museums across various
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 in the years 2006, 2011, and 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data illustrates fluctuating
percentages
Use synonyms
 of
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 across different
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 over the specified period, with a general trend of decreasing
percentages
Use synonyms
 from 2006 to 2016. Examining the data for 2006, the 45-54
age
Use synonyms
group
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 recorded the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
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 at approximately 37%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 was observed in the 15-24
age
Use synonyms
group
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, standing at about 25%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there was a gradual decrease in
museum
Use synonyms
 visitation
percentages
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 across the
age
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groups
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, with the 65+
group
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 recording the second-lowest
percentage
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 at around 28%. Turning to the data for 2011 and 2016, the 55-64
age
Use synonyms
group
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 saw the highest
percentage
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 of
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
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 at approximately 40% and over 35% respectively. Strikingly, the 15-24
age
Use synonyms
group
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 consistently exhibited the lowest
percentages
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 across both years, with figures of about 20% in 2011 and under 20% in 2016.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there were fluctuations in the
percentages
Use synonyms
 of
museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 for the other
age
Use synonyms
groups
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 over the mentioned years, albeit with an
overall
Linking Words
 declining trend in
museum
Use synonyms
 visitation
percentages
Use synonyms
 throughout the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, age, groups, percentages, museum, visitors, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 11 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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