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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buy them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home

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It is universally acknowledged that
house
Correct article usage
a house
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 is one
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 significant
necessity
Fix the agreement mistake
necessities
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 in life. In the modern era, people are able to opt
their
Change preposition
for their
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 houses differently, renting or owning homes. Despite all
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 of possessing houses, renting
weights
Correct your spelling
weighs
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 more than having. The following essay will express
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 and
drawback
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drawbacks
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 of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the advantages, the first standout reason for renting is the flexibility of changing
mansion
Correct article usage
the mansion
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. There are various types of mansions, considering their distances,
deposit
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deposits
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 and space, which makes renters able to select their accommodation based on their desire and conditions.
For example
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, if citizens change their occupations, it would be convenient to change their renting
home
Use synonyms
 in comparison with owning
Use synonyms
home
Add an article
a home
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.
Furthermore
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, governments impose excessive taxes by belonging a flat to locals. It is believed that the most vital reason
of
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for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 preference is not paying it
due to
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 the fact that in some states, the taxes are extremely higher than the rental fee.
On the contrary
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, in the long run, possessing an accommodation is economically
worth
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worthwhile
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. In light of the fact that paying a rental fee has increased the expenditure of family, owning it could assist locals in saving money for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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.
For example
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, in some states in the USA,
American
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Americans
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 dedicate half of their income to a charge which is
high
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a high
the high
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 amount of money.
In addition
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, the owners would benefit
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
Correct article usage
the document
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document
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documents
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 of the house in order to ask for
loan
Add an article
a loan
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 from the bank.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 option is unlikely for the renters
due to
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 the fact that they do not own it.
For example
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, in
Iran
Add a comma
Iran,
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 one of the necessary requirements of asking for
loan
Add an article
a loan
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 is providing a house documentary which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is simple for owners. In conclusion, accommodation is one of the fundamental
need
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needs
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 and people try to opt
it
Change preposition
for it
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 based on their comfort.
Although
Linking Words
 renting
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
 has a plethora of benefits, I believe that owning
Use synonyms
home
Add an article
a home
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 makes me comfortable and its advantages weights renting
Use synonyms
home’s
Change the noun form
homes
home
show examples
.

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task achievement
Provide more specific and detailed examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and your essay richer in content. For instance, instead of general statements, name specific countries or situations where renting or owning is particularly relevant.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your ideas are clearly presented and organized logically. This helps in driving the reader through your essay smoothly. For example, instead of jumping between points, cluster related points together and ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay includes a clear introduction and a well-defined conclusion, which frames the argument effectively.
task achievement
Your discussion on the flexibility of renting and the economic benefits of owning is insightful and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of renting, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial commitment
  • down payment
  • initial costs
  • allocate resources
  • maintenance costs
  • mobility
  • relocate
  • market fluctuations
  • property value
  • building equity
  • appreciate in value
  • asset
  • personalization
  • restrictions
  • rental increases
  • lease renewal
  • financial instability
  • housing budgets
  • long-term security
  • landlord
  • lease agreement
  • equity
  • substantial
  • property ownership
  • property market
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