IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the change in the amount of electricity used during a day in two seasons and pie chart indicates the different uses of electricity. Describe the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The line graph shows the change in the amount of electricity used during a day in two seasons and pie chart indicates the different uses of electricity. Describe the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#line #change #amount #electricity #two #seasons #features #comparisons
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The figures illustrate the
electricity
 daily used in
winter
 and summer and the type of appointment that it
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 used in
winter
Add an article
the winter
show examples
 season. As can be seen, the
electricity
demand
 in
winter
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 rather than in summer and the most noticeable of
appointment
Fix the agreement mistake
appointments
show examples
 that use high
electricity
 are heating rooms and heating water.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 first graph, starting
day
Add an article
the day
show examples
 at 0 a.
m
. the
units
 of
electricity
 in
winter
 stood at around 30.000,
then
 it
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to 40.000
units
. After that, the
electricity
demand
 back to
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 30.000
units
 at 6 a.
m
. Following that, start at 9 a.
m
. until around
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20 p.
m
. gradually
climb
Wrong verb form
climbing
show examples
 from approximately 35.000 to 45.000
units
. The
demand
 for
electricity
 reached a peak at 21 p.
m
. just above 50.000
units
.
Subsequently
, there was
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same position at around 30.000
units
.
In contrast
, in summer
was
Correct pronoun usage
there was
show examples
 a flat
demand
 from 0 a.
m
. until 24 p.
m
. just below 20.000
units
.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 second graph, the most
higher
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
used for
electricity
 in
winter
 is heating rooms and heating water around 52.5%, followed by ovens, kettles,
washing
Correct word choice
and washing
show examples
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 around 17.5%. The third place lighting , TV, and radio used 15.0%
electricity
 that the
ame
Correct your spelling
same
game
 with vacuum cleaners, food mixes and electric tools.
Submitted by writingbersama on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, winter, demand, m, units with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 6 times.
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