Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some believe that teenagers have
happiest
period of Change the article
the happiest
life
while
others state that adulthood brings more happiness
, despite of
greater responsibilities. Less responsibilities in teenage Change preposition
apply
years
and freedom of choice in adult years
can explains
these statements and my opinion is thatChange the verb form
explain
,
adulthood brings more Remove the comma
apply
happiness
as you have more control in life
.
People are known to have fewer responsibilities during their teenage years
. They are told to focus mainly on studies and for some a sport in addition
. Essential necessities are provided by the parents or guardians. As a result
, teenagers spend most of their time care-free doing what makes them happy. Therefore
, some individuals might claim that teenage years
brings
more Change the verb form
bring
happiness
to one's life
.
However
, adults are independent in many ways. Many have stable occupations which give them the opportunity to take
various Correct your spelling
make
decision
and Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
also
, the
financial stability allows adults to spend freely without consulting their parents or guardians. Freedom of choice and decisions make an adult live Correct article usage
apply
life
with minimum stress, which eventually brings more happiness
.
As the definition of happiness
change
as we age, my opinion is that Fix the agreement mistake
changes
the
adulthood brings more Correct article usage
apply
happiness
,
because peace in Remove the comma
apply
life
which
is obtained by having full control Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
one's Change preposition
of
life
.
In conclusion, some believe that teenage years
are the happiest days in life
while
others and i
believe that adult days are the happiest.Change the capitalization
I
Submitted by lithmakumaradasa on
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task achievement
In the task achievement area, consider including more specific examples to support your points. For instance, provide concrete instances where freedom of choice in adulthood leads to happiness, or particular carefree activities that teenagers engage in that contribute to their happiness.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion could be enhanced by improving transitions between paragraphs and ideas. For instance, using phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely' to contrast teenage and adult happiness could be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
You've done an excellent job of including both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, and you present a well-rounded discussion of both viewpoints.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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