Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work foe different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

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People have different views about whether working all their life at one organisation is better and beneficial or taking challenges to work as a part of other companies is the best.
While
working in
same
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the same
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organisation can benefit in
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintaining
work-life
Correct article usage
a work-life
show examples
balance, I believe that working in various organisations will help in gaining vast knowledge in the developing
techonologies
Correct your spelling
technologies
.
Submitted by chandralekha1993 on

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and presents both sides of the argument, which is good. However, you need to expand on your ideas and examples to strengthen your arguments. Consider including specific examples and detailed explanations for both views.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is logically organized to some extent, but it lacks clear and distinct paragraphs. Use paragraphs to separate different points and make your arguments more coherent. Also, a conclusion summarizing your opinion and the points discussed would improve the overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Further develop your main points with supporting details and relevant examples. Addressing counterpoints can also provide a more comprehensive response. Make sure to dedicate enough space to each perspective mentioned in your thesis statement.
task achievement
The introduction effectively presents both views and states your opinion clearly.
task achievement
The language used is clear and comprehensible, helping to communicate your ideas effectively.
coherence cohesion
You show an ability to balance both sides of the argument, which is a good foundation for discussing the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Job security
  • Stability
  • Advancement
  • Company-specific skills
  • Loyalty
  • Belonging
  • Exposure
  • Diverse work environments
  • Cultures
  • Broad experience
  • Flexibility
  • Adaptability
  • Professional network
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