IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

school children are becoming far too dependent on computers. this is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. teacher need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all cost and go back to teaching basic study skills. do you agree or disagree?

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School
teens
Use synonyms
 dependent on using
computers
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 and that may affect
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
skills
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such
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 as
rading
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reading
 and writing so teachers need to stop using
computers
Use synonyms
 and go back to
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
 the basic
skills
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 of studying.Well,there are people who agree and others who disagree with
this
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 statement. On the one
hand
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hand,
show examples
 people who are for
with
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apply
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this
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 statement have their own reasons.
For example
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 ,they say that if
teens
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dependent
Add a missing verb
are dependent
show examples
 on
computers
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 so far that will decrease
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 ability
of using
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to use
show examples
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
skills
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such
Linking Words
 as reading ,writing and thinking because
teens
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 will get everything easily and that will make them think , write and read less.Another example is that
,
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apply
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 they think that teaching basic study
skills
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 will make
teens
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 more likely to use their
brain
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brains
show examples
 and think and that will not only make them think faster but
also
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 can improve other
skills
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such
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 as reading , writing and the ability
of finding
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to find
show examples
soloution
Correct your spelling
solution
solutions
for
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to
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Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of problems.
On the other
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hand
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hand,
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 people who are against
this
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 idea have
Use synonyms
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of reasons.First of all, they believe that using
computers
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are
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is
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 something
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that need
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need
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needs
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 to happen in
near
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the near
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 future because the world
is
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has been
show examples
 improving through the years so using
computers
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 and technology is going to make them understand the
devolpment
Correct your spelling
development
that is
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 happening to the world.
Moreover
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,they reckon basic study
skills
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 as old-fashion
skills
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 and slow the
delever
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delivery
 of teaching
skills
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.
To conclude
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 we can say that, using
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
 is good for enhancing
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alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
education
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educational
show examples
skills
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 for
teens
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such
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 as reading and writing
skills
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.In my opinion,we should teach
this
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 sort of
things
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thing
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 to
the
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apply
show examples
teens
Use synonyms
 with
limts
Correct your spelling
limits
 to avoid their drawbacks.

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coherence cohesion
You have some repetition and redundancies. Strive for more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to maintain reader interest.
introduction conclusion present
The essay needs a more defined conclusion. Your final paragraph should summarize your main points and provide a clear opinion.
supported main points
Your main points could benefit from more robust supporting details. Use specific examples or data to bolster your arguments.
complete response
Try to thoroughly address both sides of the argument to show a balanced view. Expanding on counterarguments will make your essay more compelling.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue, showing that you’ve thought about the topic.
complete response
You have included some points for both perspectives, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
logical structure
There is a logical flow in your writing that makes the essay easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dependence on technology
  • reading comprehension
  • traditional learning techniques
  • literacy skills
  • digital tools integration
  • educational outcomes
  • pedagogical strategies
  • information overload
  • interactive learning
  • educational software
  • balance in education
  • technological advancement
  • fundamental skills
  • creativity and critical thinking
  • well-rounded education
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