Studying art in school improves student’s performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi skilled students to learn new things. That’s why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
contemporary era, it is argued that student's
performace
Correct your spelling
performance
will increase in other subjects if the curriculum includes art subjects like music, drawing and dance as it will pave the way for the
multi talented
Add a hyphen
multi-talented
show examples
students for their new learnings. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
statement because it will improve the cognitive ability to concentrate on the subjects and will provide a platform for improving their
competative
Correct your spelling
competitive
nature to achieve their goals.
Submitted by chandralekha1993 on

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task achievement
To enhance completeness, elaborating on the key points with specific examples can significantly strengthen your argument. For instance, explaining how artistic subjects foster cognitive development or giving concrete examples of multi-skilled students succeeding in other areas due to their artistic background would add depth.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, consider outlining your main points in separate paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence, supporting examples, and a concluding sentence tying back to your thesis.
coherence cohesion
Provide a strong conclusion that summarizes your key points and restates your opinion in a compelling way. This will help in reinforcing your argument.
task achievement
You have made a clear and strong argument, stating your opinion firmly at the beginning of your essay. This sets a definitive tone and provides a clear direction.
task achievement
Your language usage is quite good, and you have managed to convey your points clearly. Phrases like 'cognitive ability to concentrate' and 'competitive nature' are well-chosen.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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