Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might be the case? What could be the advantages of being self-employed?
Nowadays, many
people
choose to be self-employed, rather than to
work for a company or organisation. Why might Fix the infinitive
apply
be
the case? What could be the Correct pronoun usage
this be
disadvantages
of being self-employed.
Making a Change the punctuation
?
business
is a new trend,
because everyone Remove the comma
apply
prefer
to choose self-employed without Change the verb form
prefers
depend
on Change the verb form
depending
salary
from Correct article usage
a salary
company
. In Add an article
the company
this
essay, I will explain about
the Change preposition
apply
disadvantages
of being self-employed.
On the one hand, some people
believe that when they work in their business
is more valuable rather than working in the company. This
case is
Verb problem
has
occured
in some cities, because satisfaction job Correct your spelling
occurred
became
the most important character or point for everyone. The first reason, Wrong verb form
become
Add a missing verb
is the
the
environment social is very Correct your spelling
that
influence
for work-life balance. Replace the word
influential
For instance
, when someone has a good friend actually it can improve their
quality Change the word
the
in
Change preposition
of
the
Change the word
their
jobs
. Fix the agreement mistake
job
Secondly
, almost every people
need to maintain their mental health such
as good communication, and relationship
. That's why many Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
people
prefer to make business
and become an owner.
Correct article usage
a business
On the other hand
, many people
argue that self-employed
can be Add a missing verb
being self-employed
Correct article usage
a disadvantages
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
about
mental health issues Change preposition
apply
such
as loneliness, stress and afraid when take
Verb problem
making
a
some decisions. First of all, the most common problem for Remove the article
apply
owner
Correct article usage
the owner
business
is financial condition, because it can fluctuate sometimes it can increase and sharply decrease for
income. That problem is very Change preposition
apply
seriously
when someone Change the word
serious
don't
have more knowledge about finance management. After that, some Change the verb form
doesn't
people
force
Wrong verb form
are forced
to
debt in the bank and it is able to make Change preposition
into
a new problems
. Correct the article-noun agreement
new problems
a new problem
Moreover
, taking
Verb problem
they make
a wrong decisions
like Correct the article-noun agreement
wrong decisions
a wrong decision
a
marketing strategy and Correct article usage
apply
employement
development. The owner usually Correct your spelling
employment
consider
Change the verb form
considers
abut
a new plan for their Verb problem
apply
business
, hence
they are fully stress
and can depretions.
In summary, self-employed has Change the verb form
are fully stressed
a
advantages and Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
disadvantages
, because it can be affect for mental-health
issues Correct your spelling
mental health
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
For example
, the most valuable is satisfaction job and the most
Correct word choice
biggest
disadvantages
is Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
problem
in financial management.Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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task response
Your essay shows a good understanding of the topic, but you need to improve the structure. Make sure to clearly outline the reasons why people choose to be self-employed and then discuss the disadvantages separately. This will make your essay easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure your introduction mentions both aspects of the question: why people choose to be self-employed and what the disadvantages are. Your conclusion should summarize both points as well.
supported main points
Ensure that each main point you present is well-supported with specific examples and explanations. This will help make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Focus on improving your grammar and vocabulary. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles. For example, 'everyone prefer' should be 'everyone prefers' and 'make a business' should be 'start a business.'
complete response
You have made an effort to address both parts of the question, discussing why people choose to be self-employed and the disadvantages of this choice. This shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
supported main points
Your essay includes some relevant points, such as discussing the importance of job satisfaction and work-life balance as reasons for choosing self-employment.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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