Some people consider sport to be their career and role in society. For others, it is mostly a workout to keep fit. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is universally acknowledged that
sports
play a significant role in Use synonyms
humans’
Fix the agreement mistake
human’
life
. Some Use synonyms
people
consider it as a profession and an approach Use synonyms
of
earning Change preposition
to
living
, Correct article usage
a living
hence
, they dedicate their Linking Words
time
and effort to be professional in their careers. Use synonyms
However
, some Linking Words
people
disagree with Use synonyms
this
approach, and from their Linking Words
view points
, Correct your spelling
viewpoints
sport
is the Use synonyms
mean
of a healthy lifestyle. Fix the agreement mistake
means
This
essay will express the perspective of both sides and relieve my orientation towards it.
It is undeniable that there are numerous diverse careers in the world with different Linking Words
range
of income, and Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
sport
is famed as one of the occupations with a high salary. To put it differently, in the modern era, Use synonyms
people
’s views Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the sport
sport
have been transformed from a leisure activity into a Fix the agreement mistake
sports
high prestige
and expert career. Add a hyphen
high-prestige
For example
, Linking Words
people
who work out at a gym require a coach to practice Use synonyms
along with
them. Linking Words
On the other hand
, in order to participate in the Linking Words
Olympic
, just being fit is definitely insufficient and requires professional Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
sportsman
who Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
be
Wrong verb form
are
master
of Fix the agreement mistake
masters
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
sports
field. Most Use synonyms
expertise
athletes confine their Replace the word
expert
time
to the professional Use synonyms
sport
to achieve a championship title and improve their nation’s credibility Use synonyms
in
the international world stage.
Change preposition
on
On the contrary
, working out is a crucial activity in Linking Words
every body’s
Correct your spelling
everybody’s
life
, Use synonyms
although
all citizens are not able to spend their whole Linking Words
life
in it. Use synonyms
Due to
the light fact that humans possess various attitudes and Linking Words
passionate
, it is believed that Replace the word
passions
people
who like physical activities pursue Use synonyms
their
careers associated with Correct pronoun usage
apply
Use synonyms
sport
, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
however
, Linking Words
this
approach is not equal for all Linking Words
people
. Use synonyms
For example
, an engineer dedicates a limited Linking Words
time
to exercising and the rest of their Use synonyms
time
belongs to their favorite occupation. Use synonyms
Besides
, it should be taken into account that expert Linking Words
sports
have a Use synonyms
detriment
impact too. Most Replace the word
detrimental
of
athletes Change preposition
apply
have
injured during their practice period, and in some cases, it is beyond retrieval. Verb problem
are
For instance
, Sara Bakhtiari, a famous and talented artistic gymnastics player, should remain Linking Words
on
Change preposition
in
the
wheelchair for the rest of her Correct article usage
a
life
, Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
back
Correct article usage
a back
injured
.
In conclusion, the necessity of Replace the word
injury
sport
is universally accepted. Considering all the positive results of Use synonyms
sports
on health, working on Use synonyms
the
higher level of it has some dangerous drawbacks. There is no certain orientation towards these two views and none of them weighs another one and it completely depends on Correct article usage
a
people
’s desires and Use synonyms
passionate
.Replace the word
passion
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coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is fairly good, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be smoother. Consider using more connecting phrases and transition words to make your arguments clearer.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, make sure your conclusion clearly summarizes the key points discussed and your overall viewpoint. This will make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is supported by relevant and specific examples. This could strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Some of your ideas are clear, but there are parts where the expression might be improved for better clarity. Ensure your arguments are comprehensively developed.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasings as they can affect the readability and coherence of your essay. Try to proofread your work.
introduction
Your introduction sets up the topic very well, which makes it clear what the essay will be discussing.
conclusion
The conclusion attempts to summarize the discussion and present a balanced view, which is good.
supporting examples
You have included specific examples in your essay, which helps to illustrate your points and make them more concrete.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.