Some people consider sport to be their career and role in society. For others, it is mostly a workout to keep fit. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is universally acknowledged that
sports
play a significant role in
humans’
Fix the agreement mistake
human’
show examples
life
. Some
people
consider it as a profession and an approach
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
earning
living
Correct article usage
a living
show examples
,
hence
, they dedicate their
time
and effort to be professional in their careers.
However
, some
people
disagree with
this
approach, and from their
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
,
sport
is the
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
of a healthy lifestyle.
This
essay will express the perspective of both sides and relieve my orientation towards it. It is undeniable that there are numerous diverse careers in the world with different
range
Fix the agreement mistake
ranges
show examples
of income, and
sport
is famed as one of the occupations with a high salary. To put it differently, in the modern era,
people
’s views
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
Add an article
the sport
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
have been transformed from a leisure activity into a
high prestige
Add a hyphen
high-prestige
show examples
and expert career.
For example
,
people
who work out at a gym require a coach to practice
along with
them.
On the other hand
, in order to participate in the
Olympic
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Olympics
show examples
, just being fit is definitely insufficient and requires professional
sportsman
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sportsmen
show examples
who
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
master
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masters
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of
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
sports
field. Most
expertise
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expert
show examples
athletes confine their
time
to the professional
sport
to achieve a championship title and improve their nation’s credibility
in
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on
show examples
the international world stage.
On the contrary
, working out is a crucial activity in
every body’s
Correct your spelling
everybody’s
show examples
life
,
although
all citizens are not able to spend their whole
life
in it.
Due to
the light fact that humans possess various attitudes and
passionate
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passions
show examples
, it is believed that
people
who like physical activities pursue
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
careers associated with
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
,
however
,
this
approach is not equal for all
people
.
For example
, an engineer dedicates a limited
time
to exercising and the rest of their
time
belongs to their favorite occupation.
Besides
, it should be taken into account that expert
sports
have a
detriment
Replace the word
detrimental
show examples
impact too. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
athletes
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
injured during their practice period, and in some cases, it is beyond retrieval.
For instance
, Sara Bakhtiari, a famous and talented artistic gymnastics player, should remain
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
wheelchair for the rest of her
life
,
due to
back
Correct article usage
a back
show examples
injured
Replace the word
injury
show examples
. In conclusion, the necessity of
sport
is universally accepted. Considering all the positive results of
sports
on health, working on
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher level of it has some dangerous drawbacks. There is no certain orientation towards these two views and none of them weighs another one and it completely depends on
people
’s desires and
passionate
Replace the word
passion
show examples
.
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coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is fairly good, but there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be smoother. Consider using more connecting phrases and transition words to make your arguments clearer.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has an introduction and a conclusion, make sure your conclusion clearly summarizes the key points discussed and your overall viewpoint. This will make your essay more cohesive.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is supported by relevant and specific examples. This could strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Some of your ideas are clear, but there are parts where the expression might be improved for better clarity. Ensure your arguments are comprehensively developed.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammatical errors and awkward phrasings as they can affect the readability and coherence of your essay. Try to proofread your work.
introduction
Your introduction sets up the topic very well, which makes it clear what the essay will be discussing.
conclusion
The conclusion attempts to summarize the discussion and present a balanced view, which is good.
supporting examples
You have included specific examples in your essay, which helps to illustrate your points and make them more concrete.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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