The following two pie charts give the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#two #results #survey #popularity #leisure #activities #european #adults #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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presented

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two pie charts illustrate data about various popular leisure activities of European adults in 1985 and 1995.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

in 1985 nearly a third of

people

Use synonyms

were wasting their leisure time mostly by watching

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However

Linking Words

, in 1995 most

people

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

had chosen to watch

Use synonyms

or play computer games. Notably, an almost equal percentage of

people

Use synonyms

prefer to watch

Use synonyms

in both years. In accordance with the pie chart in 1985

people

Use synonyms

mostly preferred to watch

Use synonyms

rather than eat out and the percentage of

people

Use synonyms

who chose to watch

Use synonyms

was 32%,

while

Linking Words

eating out was 23%.

Moreover

Linking Words

, roughly

one fifth

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one-fifth

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people

Use synonyms

wasted their leisure time by talking with friends and

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talking with family.

Also

Linking Words

, 6% of

people

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did other activities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, almost

one third

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one-third

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of adults in 1995 preferred to watch

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, and the second most popular activity was playing computer games.

Due to

Linking Words

developing technologies, roughly a quarter chose to play computer games,

while

Linking Words

talking with friends was almost equal.

Also

Linking Words

talking with family and eating out was the same proportion. Whilst, 2% of adults chose other activities.

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Wed Jul 24 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

189 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Pie charts
Leisure activities
European adults
Survey results
Popularity
Comparison
Ten-year period
Walking
Cycling
Increase/Decrease
Percentage
Popularity shift
Team sports
Solitary activities

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The following two pie charts give the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages.

Young children have a special talent for language learning. Children should be taught other languages at an early age. Although learning for children is not easy, they need a new method to understand the subject. They can use a new method from a book, such as a picture book.

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables . Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Deforestation is indeed a critical global issue with various causes and consequences. Here are some key factors contributing to deforestation and potential solutions:

Share your academic and non-academic accomplishments (applicable to undergraduate and vocational students) and any relevant industry experience (only for vocational students). Please elaborate on the processes and skills you've acquired during your previous or ongoing degree program.