The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Write 150 words.

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries’ percentage share of Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Write 150 words.
The
chart
illustrates five industries that shared Brazil’s economy in 2009 and 2019. There's a difference in one of the graphs that are being shown, today's summary I'm going to be explaining the downfall of one of the 5 stages in the economy
that is
shown in the
chart
.
Finance
is being held from 30% to 41% in each year. The
finance
is shown to be relatively higher than the others reaching 41%, despite that keep in mind that the
finance
will soon be depleted because of the new salary that
people
will continue to buy.
On the other hand
, food processing and manufacturing has one of the lowest percentages, it is mainly because each year it is becoming
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficult cause of the finances that
people
need to be able to pay and work all day long and as soon it has become a disaster. Tourism has risen as
people
now take a trip to another country, the
chart
now shows each year because of the money that
people
need to make before taking a trip. In recent years its
chart
percentage from 25% decreased slightly to now 21%.
Finally
, Oil, Coal and Gas return to 2009 levels.
Overall
, for the period covered, the
Finance
sector stands out in terms of having the largest share of
brazil’s
Capitalize word
Brazil’s
show examples
economy, and its share shows continued growth. The big loser is manufacturing, which starts as the joint smallest sector and sees both real and projected falls.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, finance, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage share
  • economic growth
  • industry forecast
  • notable growth
  • decline
  • steady growth
  • trend
  • significant increase
  • economic landscape
  • industry sector
  • projected growth
  • consumer preferences
  • technological advancements
  • industrial transformation
  • mature industry
  • economic policies
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