IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie chart below shows bottled water consumption in various regions as a percent of global consumption and bar chart shows the growth of bottled water consumption in 2001. Summarize the information and compare where relevant

The pie chart below shows bottled water consumption in various regions as a percent of global consumption and bar chart shows the growth of bottled water consumption in 2001. Summarize the information and compare where relevant
#water #consumption #regions #percent #bar #growth #information
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The line graph gives information about
rate
Add an article
the rate
show examples
 of crimes for
ages
Change the noun form
age
show examples
 groups and the pie chart illustrates 4 types of criminal which are violent ,property ,drug and public order in the UK
last
 year.
Overall
, the
age
 of 20
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the highest criminal
figures
Fix the agreement mistake
figure
show examples
while
 the smallest percentage was public order
crime
 in the pie chart. At first glance, we can say that the people who are the
age
 of between 0-
8
Correct word choice
and 8
show examples
had
smidgen
Correct article usage
a smidgen
show examples
 amount
crimes
Change preposition
of crimes
show examples
 because their
crime
 rate
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 %0
whereas
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
age
 of 12 the criminal ratio
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started
increase
Fix the infinitive
to increase
show examples
 with almost 5 thousand people
while
 , between 44 and 60
age
 groups have followed around 10.000 and 20. 000
crime
 rate. When it comes to
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart the
crime
 which was violent accounted for %46 of the total
crime
 , as opposed to the public order
crime
 had the smallest percentage of
crime
 people by %9
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
 year compared to other ratios of crimes which were property and drug respectively %23 and %22
last
 year in the UK.
Submitted by kickbox191 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, crime with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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