More and more women go out to work. It is the government's responsibility to subsidise them and provide free staffs and facilities to care for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

#women #work #government #responsibility #subsidise #staffs #facilities #care #children #idea

In present days, an increasing number of

women

enters

Correct subject-verb agreement

enter

show examples

the workforce. There has been an argument regarding whether the

government

should be responsible

to support

Change preposition

for supporting

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working

women

financially

as well as

enabling accessibility to

childcare's

Change noun form

childcare

show examples

resources. I partially agree with the aforementioned that the

government

should play a key role in providing

aids

Fix the agreement mistake

aid

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for female employees, as I think that

beside

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besides

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that, business organisations should share the responsibility

Change preposition

show examples

supporting

women

in the

workplaces

Fix the agreement mistake

workplace

show examples

. The reasons I advocate the statement that policymakers should help

women

workers are because it would ensure gender equality and

Correct article usage

a blooming

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blooming

Correct your spelling

booming

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economy. First and foremost,

women

have been associated with domestic duties, including nurturing children as opposed to men with developing career aspects. By subsidising

women

in terms of

childcare

, they are allowed to concentrate on building strong

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

and narrowing the disparity with men.

As a result

, more

women

will advance professionally, ensuring a sense of gender equality in society.

Moreover

, supporting

women

in the workforce via providing free access to

childcare

institutes and

personnels

Correct your spelling

personnel

will

encourgage

Correct your spelling

encourage

women

to join the workplace,

guaranteering

Correct your spelling

guaranteeing

financial

indepence

Correct your spelling

independence

and fostering healthy self-esteem among those female individuals.

Consenquently

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Consequently

, they will contribute significantly to the growth of the economy.

On the other hand

, I believe that it should be entirely the responsibility of the

government

to take care of the matter. In fact, organisations should join

force

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forces

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by establishing new policies in

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

of female workers.

For example

, a

childcare

fund should be made available to support those who

Change the verb form

need

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needs

Correct pronoun usage

needs it

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, or

women

should be allowed to take longer days off

post pregnancy

Add a hyphen

post-pregnancy

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to care for their babies. With

this

in place, the workplaces will aid in the

emerge

Replace the word

emergence

show examples

of an equal society and ensure economic prosperity. In conclusion, I partially agree with the argument that the

government

should take part in supporting working

women

childcare

, but I

also

believe that companies should

also

play a role. Indeed, the joined effort from both the authorities and organisations will have

profound

Add an article

a profound

show examples

effect and nurture fairness between genders.

Submitted by kimtruong270192 on Wed Jul 24 2024

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relevant specific examples

Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen arguments. Providing concrete scenarios or data will add depth to your essay and make your points more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear and distinct focus. Occasionally, the points made could be clearer and more directly related to the main topic of the paragraph.

clear comprehensive ideas

Try to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Polishing sentence structures will enhance readability and precision.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments.

logical structure

You provide a balanced perspective by acknowledging both the role of government and businesses, which strengthens your argument.

supported main points

Main points are supported and expanded upon adequately, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

337 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more women go out to work. It is the government's responsibility to subsidise them and provide free staffs and facilities to care for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Some people think that spending large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities is a waste of money. They think that this money should be used to improve existing public transport. To what extent do you agree / disagree ?

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In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that it is more important to focus on the future rather than the present. Do you agree or disagree? Discuss, including examples from your own knowledge and experience.