In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In the modern era, wherever you are, the food producer and
supermaket
Correct your spelling
supermarket
supermarkets
have
easily
Change the adverb
easy
show examples
access for many nations. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
I think I would be a
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
development for the populations around the world. The reason why I believe that will
describe
Wrong verb form
be described
show examples
in
this
eassay
Correct your spelling
essay
. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers could go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
anywhere they were, it means, the economic sector in that
country
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
boost
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rapidly. The more the nations can export or
selling
Wrong verb form
sell
show examples
things, the more money they can gain to
theire
Correct your spelling
their
country
.
Moreover
, the citizens will get employed caused is from the
demanding
Replace the word
demand
show examples
of the
comsumer's
Correct your spelling
consumer's
consumer
spending. Another positive improvement is that if the clients can go to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
show examples
all around the world, It would be beneficial for the
toursit
Correct your spelling
tourist
spot,
espectially
Correct your spelling
especially
, in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
the main revenue might
drive
Wrong verb form
be driven
show examples
from
ecotourism
Correct article usage
the ecotourism
show examples
sector
such
as Thailand,
Indonesia
Correct word choice
and Indonesia
show examples
.
Therefore
To conclude
, the way that people could get whatever they want and
whereever
Correct your spelling
wherever
where ever
they are, not only
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
the economic section but
It
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could support the
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
show examples
to get employment by high
demanding
Replace the word
demand
show examples
within the
country
.
Therefore
I strongly
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
believe
that
this
would be greatly developing.
Submitted by suthapuch1202 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure all main points are extended and fully explained. Try to create a clearer structure where each paragraph addresses one main idea.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and concrete.
general
Pay attention to grammar and spelling errors. Correcting these will make your essay easier to read and understand. For instance, 'supermaket' should be 'supermarket', and 'comsumer's' should be 'consumer's'.
general
Expand your vocabulary and aim to use more varied sentence structures to improve the clarity and sophistication of your writing.
general
You have presented a clear position on whether global food availability is positive.
task achievement
You have attempted to support your views with reasons, showing an understanding of the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays: