Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Some people believe that the
government
should spend
money
on public services
instead
of wasting
money
on the
arts
.
This
essay will discuss the notion in the ensuing paragraphs.
Firstly
, it is the duty of the
government
to provide adequate services to its citizens. It is very clear that in recent years the unemployment rate has increased throughout the world. Millions of individuals are struggling to secure a job. I believe
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should
bring
Verb problem
take
show examples
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
actions to overcome
this
dilemma.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
can create more job opportunities by attracting more investments from foreign nations
as well as
from within the country.
This
will
also
benefit the
government
in the long run.
In addition
, the cost of living has rapidly increased, making it difficult for individuals to fulfil their basic daily needs. The
government
should implement strategies to control inflation.
Lastly
, the
government
should emphasise more on health care and infrastructure facilities. It is the basic necessity of an individual to receive decent quality health care.
Government
should construct more hospitals and clinics, thereby helping each and every citizen to obtain affordable and high-quality health care.
On the other hand
, the
government
should
also
spend
money
on the
arts
as well. For eg, let's consider the example of Taylor Swift. Many countries have hosted Taylor Swift concerts in recent years. The amount of
money
pumped into the host economy was huge. It has boosted a lot of local
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
businesses,
hence
creating more jobs and more opportunities for people.
Secondly
, art is always twingled with the culture, preserving art is preserving culture for the future generation. In order to do that
government
should spend
money
on
arts
and encourage people to pursue art as their career. In conclusion, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
the
government
should give importance to both sectors. Spending
money
on public service and
arts
is equally important, one cannot outweigh the other.
Submitted by sachin.jose0206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While you've made an effort to tackle both sides of the argument, you could strengthen your task response by providing more specific examples and deeper analysis. Make sure every point presented is thoroughly explored and backed up.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will greatly enhance the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases.
task achievement
You addressed both the need for spending on public services and the arts, offering a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured well, with a clear introduction and conclusion that wrap up the argument nicely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!