Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement
Some people believe that the
government
should spend money
on public services instead
of wasting money
on the arts
. This
essay will discuss the notion in the ensuing paragraphs.
Firstly
, it is the duty of the government
to provide adequate services to its citizens. It is very clear that in recent years the unemployment rate has increased throughout the world. Millions of individuals are struggling to secure a job. I believe government
should Correct article usage
the government
bring
Verb problem
take
necessary
actions to overcome Correct article usage
the necessary
this
dilemma. Government
can create more job opportunities by attracting more investments from foreign nations Correct article usage
The government
as well as
from within the country. This
will also
benefit the government
in the long run.
In addition
, the cost of living has rapidly increased, making it difficult for individuals to fulfil their basic daily needs. The government
should implement strategies to control inflation. Lastly
, the government
should emphasise more on health care and infrastructure facilities. It is the basic necessity of an individual to receive decent quality health care. Government
should construct more hospitals and clinics, thereby helping each and every citizen to obtain affordable and high-quality health care.
On the other hand
, the government
should also
spend money
on the arts
as well. For eg, let's consider the example of Taylor Swift. Many countries have hosted Taylor Swift concerts in recent years. The amount of money
pumped into the host economy was huge. It has boosted a lot of local of
businesses, Change preposition
apply
hence
creating more jobs and more opportunities for people. Secondly
, art is always twingled with the culture, preserving art is preserving culture for the future generation. In order to do that government
should spend money
on arts
and encourage people to pursue art as their career.
In conclusion, in my opinion
the Add a comma
opinion,
government
should give importance to both sectors. Spending money
on public service and arts
is equally important, one cannot outweigh the other.Submitted by sachin.jose0206 on
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task achievement
While you've made an effort to tackle both sides of the argument, you could strengthen your task response by providing more specific examples and deeper analysis. Make sure every point presented is thoroughly explored and backed up.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will greatly enhance the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases.
task achievement
You addressed both the need for spending on public services and the arts, offering a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured well, with a clear introduction and conclusion that wrap up the argument nicely.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.