Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general.

While
it is widely claimed that few
people
devote
time
less on
hobbies
nowadays, others argue that there are numerous
factor
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factors
show examples
that
contributing
Wrong verb form
contribute
show examples
such
Change preposition
to such
show examples
effects both individually and socially. Both
cause
Correct article usage
the cause
show examples
and effect of
this
worrying trend will be elaborated on
this
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in this
show examples
essay.
To begin
with, it may
seems
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seem
show examples
sensible for some to believe that leisure activities
often
Add a missing verb
are often
show examples
overlooked
from
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by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
these days as
an
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apply
show examples
intense competition among the employment industries.
This
is
possibly
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possible
show examples
because they generally viewed it as an activity for personal entertainment and not
that
Correct word choice
as
show examples
productive
like
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as
show examples
self-improvements
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self-improvement
show examples
.
For example
,
a
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apply
show examples
white collar
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white-collar
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labour
spent
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spend
show examples
time
on
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apply
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working rather than spending
time
on
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
just to relax which
left
Wrong verb form
leaves
show examples
them with
fews
Correct your spelling
few
hour
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hours
show examples
per day to do
such
creative activities on a daily basis, preferably they will choose to sleep than
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
anything else.
However
, I personally argue in favour of its effects seeing that it indeed
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
people
either
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in either
show examples
personal or social aspects. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of personal perspective,
hobbies
is
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are
show examples
a creative
ways
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way
show examples
of relieving stress from work, without getting it
release
Wrong verb form
released
show examples
through
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
activities can create mental illness in later
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
such
as depression and stress-related
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
show examples
. In a bigger picture, the effect on
society
could not seen clearly like individual
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
, yet fewer hours
on
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of
show examples
leisures
Change the noun form
leisure
show examples
activity can affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
tremendously.
Hobbies
provide a practice for
people
to use their imagination and skills, without them
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
will be lifeless.
For instance
,
people
will always
serious
Add a missing verb
be serious
show examples
and formal manner. In a nutshell,
although
it is undeniable that
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
hours
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
likely to be used for
hobbies
recently, I am of the opinion that it does
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
both
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
small to large scale and should not be neglected in order to create a meaningful
society
.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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task achievement
Improve grammar and syntax to avoid common mistakes, such as subject-verb agreement and plural forms.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs more fully with supporting examples, and connect ideas using connecting words or phrases to enhance flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response, addressing both causes and effects in a structured manner.
task achievement
The essay maintains a suitable writing tone and formal register appropriate to the task.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph contains a single idea, contributing to overall coherence.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
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