IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarcric. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourits who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarcric #tourits #visit
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In the contemporary era,
travelers
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travellers
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 visit destinations with extreme conditions like the Sahara Desert or
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Antarctica. There are some advantages despite
of
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apply
show examples
some disadvantages of visiting
such
places
. I shall discuss both schools of thought in the upcoming paragraphs. On the
one
 hand, there are
plethora
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a plethora
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 of reasons why
people
 travel
such
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to such
show examples
places
. The first and foremost reason is these
places
 let
the
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apply
show examples
people
 explore the world beyond imagination.
One
 can encounter a variety of creatures on the tour.
For instance
, on a visit to South
Africa
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Africa,
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 animals like lions elephants and giraffes can be discovered easily on a jungle safari. The second reason is these expeditions provide life-changing experiences. These adventurous
places
 help to push
people
 beyond their comfort zone.
Such
places
also
 help
people
to
Verb problem
apply
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fight their fears Since they might face various obstacles in their way.
This
 will give them new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 which they might not have had before.
On the other hand
, there are certain disadvantages of these
places
 as well.
Due to
 the extreme climatic
conditions
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conditions,
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 it becomes hard to survive in those
places
.
For instance
,
at
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in
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places
 like the Sahara Desert or
the
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apply
show examples
Antarctica
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Antarctica,
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 there is water scarcity at high levels.
People
 have to travel long
distance
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distances
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 to drink fresh water.
Due to
 the deficiency of
water
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water,
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one
 might face dehydration and hallucinations.
Further
, the weather
of
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in
show examples
 these
places
 might become dangerous for
the
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apply
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survival.
Scorching
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The scorching
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 heat of the Sahara desert might cause skin cancer and other dermatological problems.
Traveling
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Travelling
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 to
such
places
 may become fatal to some extent. In conclusion,
one
 should visit adventurous
places
 it is at least once
a
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in a
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lifetime;
however
,
should
Correct pronoun usage
one should
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 always make sure to adhere to all the safety measures required to survive in that place.
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your points and make them more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a consistent structure within paragraphs to aid in reader comprehension.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, properly framing your argument.
task achievement
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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