Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Have you ever
thgought
about doing dangerous Correct your spelling
thought
sports
?Well,there are some Use synonyms
people
who think that dangerous Use synonyms
sports
should be Use synonyms
baned
and others see that Correct your spelling
banned
people
should have their own choice.In my Use synonyms
essay
Add a comma
essay,
Iam
going to discuss both views and give my own opinion.
On the one hand,Correct your spelling
I am
people
who believe that dangerous Use synonyms
sports
should be Use synonyms
baned
have their own reasons.Correct your spelling
banned
For example
.they see that there are Linking Words
alot
of Correct your spelling
a lot
people
who Use synonyms
mighet
try these Correct your spelling
might
sport
for Fix the agreement mistake
sports
inertainming
without knowing sometimes it can lead to death .Another example is thatCorrect your spelling
entertaining
,
dangerous Remove the comma
apply
sports
can lead to some drawbacks Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for
people
who practise Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
such
as broking parts like Linking Words
as
legs , Change preposition
apply
hands
and Correct word choice
and hands
some time
it may Replace the word
sometimes
harm
our Use synonyms
face
parts like Replace the word
facial
nose
or Correct article usage
the nose
eayes
.Correct your spelling
eyes
Furthermore
,if someone Linking Words
die
from these Change the verb form
dies
sports
that may not only Use synonyms
heart
him but Verb problem
hurt
also
will affect other Linking Words
people
.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
,there is Linking Words
other
group of Change the wording
another
people
who say that Use synonyms
people
should have Use synonyms
freedom
to do any Add an article
the freedom
sports
or activity and they have their own reasons Use synonyms
also
.First of all,they say that Linking Words
poeple
have their own Correct your spelling
people
rasons
Correct your spelling
reasons
of
doing Change preposition
for
sports
and it's their choice to Use synonyms
chose
whether they want to Wrong verb form
choose
harm
Use synonyms
them self
or not.Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
Finally
, a lot of dangerous Linking Words
sports
have their safety gadgets and that will Use synonyms
decraese
the drawbacks so it's ok to do these Correct your spelling
decrease
sports
with wearing safety gadgets.
To Use synonyms
cocluse
we can say that, Correct your spelling
conclude
every one
Replace the word
everyone
have
his own choice to do any sport or activity they like unless Change the verb form
has
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
Use synonyms
harm
Correct subject-verb agreement
harms
other
Add the comma(s)
, other
people
.In my opinion,I see that governments should Use synonyms
band
dangerous Correct your spelling
ban
sports
because they can Use synonyms
harm
other Use synonyms
people
and there are no benefits from them.Use synonyms
Submitted by yousefreyad55 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words and phrases. This will help the logical flow of ideas and make the essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Clearly separate your paragraphs and ensure each one discusses a single main point. This will make your essay more organized and easier to understand.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your sentences correctly to avoid confusion. Some sentences are run-on and could benefit from clearer punctuation or dividing them into two separate sentences.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the prompt. Give balanced explanations for both views before giving your opinion. Illustrating them with more specific examples would strengthen your task response.
task achievement
Increase the clarity of your points by elaborating on your ideas. Explain how and why dangerous sports can be harmful or should be allowed with tangible examples or statistics.
task achievement
Proofread your work to minimize grammar and spelling errors. Errors like 'broking' and 'inertainming' can distract the reader and reduce the readability of your essay.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good attempt to balance both views on the topic and provides an opinion, which is essential for the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the main issue and the two opposing viewpoints, preparing the reader for what follows.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint effectively, reinforcing your opinion at the end.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.