Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep job separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some believe that spending time with your co-workers after work is beneficial to us,
while
others suggest that it is essential to maintain social distancing with your colleagues
. In this
essay, I will elaborate on both sides of the view, and I partially agree on the necessity of having good relationships with colleagues
.
On one hand, there are positive effects on holding social events with co-workers. In the office, people
may not have Correct article usage
a chances
chances
to have a proper conversation to understand others' personalities. By spending time in more leisure events Fix the agreement mistake
chance
such
as drinking in the bar, people
may have a more suitable environment to chat about their personal lives. During the conversation, people
may gain familiarity and understand cultural
differences between them. It may reduce potential conflict Correct article usage
the cultural
due to
misunderstanding
in the office. Fix the agreement mistake
misunderstandings
Furthermore
, having a team sport such
as basketball and soccer with colleagues
may enhance team building. For instance
, studies suggest that firefighters are more cooperative and have a higher success rate on missions if their team has regularly played volleyball together.
On the other hand
, some believe that being too intimate with workmates may cause difficulties in the workplace. People
are usually embarrassed when they express their disagreement to others, especially to people
who have a close relationship. There is no doubt that workers require
to express their opinions during meetings. If staff hesitate Wrong verb form
are required
on sharing
their own ideas, they may feel difficulty in finding the best solution to the certain issue. It will reduce their productivity.
To summarize, Change preposition
to share
although
people
are afraid of forming a
close Correct article usage
apply
relationship
with Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
colleagues
, I believe that sufficient social activity between co-workers will provide advantages that outweigh its disadvantagesSubmitted by andy1031227 on
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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position. Although you mentioned that you 'partially agree,' it would be beneficial to specify exactly what aspects you agree or disagree with.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, providing examples from different work environments could add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make use of clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader about what to expect in the following sentences. This can help in enhancing the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument, making your essay well-rounded and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion is concise and effectively summarizes the main points of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is easy to read due to your logical structuring of paragraphs.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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