The chart shows the percentages of the Canadian workforce in five major industries in 1850 and 2020.
The bar chart provides information about the ratio of the Canadian workforce in five major companies in 1850 and 2020.
Overall
, it can be seen that in 1850, a huge number of people were working in manufacturing
sector , Add an article
the manufacturing
while
in 2002, services
Correct article usage
the services
company
had maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
employees
.
Correct quantifier usage
number of employees
To begin
with , in 1850 ,36% of individuals were working in manufacturing
sector. It was the Add an article
the manufacturing
company
with highest
proportion in 1850. The Change the article
the highest
worker's
ratio in services and agriculture/fishing companies was 33% and 22% respectively. Change noun form
worker
Moreover
, a few number of people were working in construction and energy/water company
accounting for 5% and 3% respectively.
On the other hand
, in 2020, majority
of individuals worked in services amounting to 81% . Correct article usage
the majority
Furthermore
, the percentage of worker
working in manufacturing Fix the agreement mistake
workers
agency
was 9% . About 8% , Fix the agreement mistake
agencies
employees
were working in construction Change preposition
of employees
company
in 2020. Fix the agreement mistake
companies
Finally
, 1% people
were working in agriculture and energy/water zones.Change preposition
of people
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words company with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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