IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In major cities around the world, traffic congestion has become a serious problem. How can this problem be tackled? Give reasons and examples from your own experience.

#cities #world #traffic #congestion
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Congestion of
the
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apply
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traffic
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 is now causing
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problem
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problems
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 in several cities around the world
particularly
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, particularly
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 in
the
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developed countries.
This
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problem
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 has contributed
people
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 to
raise
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raising
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 the main issue and how to resolve it. In
this
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 matter, the
government
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 can help. They have a huge part in
ceating
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creating
rules
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 and regulations to control the
traffic
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 and improve its
infrastuctures
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infrastructure
infrastructures
. They are the main listener when it comes to issues
such
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 as
in
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apply
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public
highway
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highways
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. They
also
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 have the
fund
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funds
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 to provide
and
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apply
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its
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surveillance to
double time
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double-time
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 the process for
a
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the
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 betterment of the
people
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. If the
government
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 listens, it will really improve the
traffic
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 and possibly
resolves
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resolve
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 the
problem
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. Several departments must coordinate with the
people
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 for them to have
a
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fast and smooth
traffic
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. There must be
rules
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such
Linking Words
 as what or where they must go. There are
also
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 regulations that need to be conducted in order to have a limitation
in
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on
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 the number of vehicles driving each day.
This
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 solution can reduce problems that will alleviate the
problem
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.
Likewise
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,
people
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has
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have
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also
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 part in reducing these harmful effects of
traffic
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 congestion. The transporters must follow
rules
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 diligently and be mindful of the regulations that the
government
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made
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makes
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.
To conclude
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,
traffic
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 congestion and its harmful effects can be resolved with the support of the
government
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 as the main helping hand
of
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in
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this
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 matter. Agencies
as well as
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 the
people
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itself
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themselves
show examples
 must cooperate and follow
rules
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 to have
a
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apply
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better transportation.
Submitted by dhowardjacob on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples from your own experience or widely-known cases to support your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using clear transitions. This will make your essay easier to follow and more cohesive.
language
Work on your grammar and vocabulary to ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly and accurately. This includes paying attention to word choice and sentence structure.
task achievement
Expand your points further to give more depth to your response. Think about discussing the impact of traffic congestion on different aspects of urban life, such as health, economy, and environment.
coherence
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a framework for your essay.
task
The essay touches upon various solutions from the perspective of both the government and individuals, showing a balanced approach.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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