IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the usage of oil in four different countries between 1966 and 2006 as a percentage of total energuy use within each nation.

The graph below shows the usage of oil in four different countries between 1966 and 2006 as a percentage of total energuy use within each nation.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given graph illustrates the percentage of
oil
Use synonyms
 used by
Iceland
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
, Italy and Turkey from 1966 until 2006. It is very clear from the graph that Italy is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 consumer of
oil
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1966 with about 90%, followed by
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
 with 80%. The
oil
Use synonyms
 consumption of Italy has remained similar throughout the years,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
 has reduced its usage to almost 30% by 2006. The
oil
Use synonyms
 usage of
Iceland
Use synonyms
 in 1966 was 70%. Alike
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
,
Iceland
Use synonyms
 has controlled its usage reaching a minimum of 20% in 2006.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, Turkey
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used only 60% of
oil
Use synonyms
 in 1996, which was the least in that
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the consumption has increased in the following years and has maximised to 90% in the
year
Use synonyms
 2006. In conclusion, Italy was the highest and Turkey was the lowest consumer of
oil
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1966.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
Use synonyms
Swedan
Correct your spelling
Sweden
 and
Iceland
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 reduced
it
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 consumption
less
Change preposition
by less
show examples
 than 40 % by the
year
Use synonyms
 2006.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words oil, iceland, swedan, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: