Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti- social behaviour and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? How to improve it? Or what are the reasons for this and how to fix the situation?

Undoubtedly, some
people
are getting more
worsed
Correct your spelling
worse
worked
worsened
due to
changes in their behaviours
along with
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not giving respect to
others
in today's world. In
this
essay, I will analyze the reasons
along with
suitable solutions to overcome
above-mentioned
Correct article usage
the above-mentioned
show examples
statement in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced technology is the main cause for the anti-social nature of individuals, and they do not give importance to
others
because
people
spend
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of their time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing violent video games and watching violent movies. Owing to
this
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
changes
happening
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
in a person's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
because they get
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
social media.
Moreover
, not only the awful
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
is the major
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
, but lack of communication amongst individuals causes less respect for
others
because
people
do not spend their precious time with their families.
Therefore
, these reasons are making the problem of terrible
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
more serious by passing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
each day. Multifarious solutions can overcome the obstacles of worse
behave
Replace the word
behaviour
show examples
and less respect for
others
. First of all, the authority should organise awareness camps for adolescents where they will able to learn
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and communicate with elderly
people
.
Due to
this
, society can become more wonderful to live a fruitful life.
Secondly
, an immense amount of guidance can be provided by social media about the importance of social interactions.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
movie directors should make more family movies with
an extraordinary stories
Correct the article-noun agreement
extraordinary stories
an extraordinary story
show examples
of living life without violence.
To conclude
,
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to lack of chats and
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the advancement in technology are the major reasons for
people
's worse nature.
Also
, the
combining
Replace the word
combined
show examples
efforts of the government and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
can be lucrative to solve
this
issue by providing awareness to society about the importance of families and living with an incredible nature for achieving a profitable future.
Submitted by kulvir1910 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt, but the ideas could be more thoroughly developed. Spend some more time fully explaining your main points and providing concrete examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Some paragraphs are slightly disjointed, and the flow between ideas could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases to improve the overall coherence.
task achievement
Ensure clarity in your writing. Some sentences are a bit confusing and could benefit from rephrasing. Make sure your ideas are clearly and directly stated.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which helps it stay focused and on-topic.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide solutions to the issues discussed, which is good. It shows you are thinking about the problem and how it can be addressed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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