Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti- social behaviour and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? How to improve it? Or what are the reasons for this and how to fix the situation?

#people #anti- #behaviour #lack #respect #situation

Undoubtedly, some

people

are getting more

worsed

Correct your spelling

worse

worked

worsened

due to

changes in their behaviours

along with

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not giving respect to

others

in today's world. In

this

essay, I will analyze the reasons

along with

suitable solutions to overcome

above-mentioned

Correct article usage

the above-mentioned

show examples

statement in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

with,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advanced technology is the main cause for the anti-social nature of individuals, and they do not give importance to

others

because

people

spend

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of their time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing violent video games and watching violent movies. Owing to

this

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

changes

happening

Wrong verb form

happen

show examples

in a person's

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

because they get

influence

Wrong verb form

influenced

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

social media.

Moreover

, not only the awful

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is the major

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

show examples

, but lack of communication amongst individuals causes less respect for

others

because

people

do not spend their precious time with their families.

Therefore

, these reasons are making the problem of terrible

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

more serious by passing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

each day. Multifarious solutions can overcome the obstacles of worse

behave

Replace the word

behaviour

show examples

and less respect for

others

. First of all, the authority should organise awareness camps for adolescents where they will able to learn

value

Add an article

the value

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and communicate with elderly

people

Due to

this

, society can become more wonderful to live a fruitful life.

Secondly

, an immense amount of guidance can be provided by social media about the importance of social interactions.

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

movie directors should make more family movies with

an extraordinary stories

Correct the article-noun agreement

extraordinary stories

an extraordinary story

show examples

of living life without violence.

To conclude

due

Change preposition

apply

show examples

to lack of chats and

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the advancement in technology are the major reasons for

people

's worse nature.

Also

, the

combining

Replace the word

combined

show examples

efforts of the government and

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

can be lucrative to solve

this

issue by providing awareness to society about the importance of families and living with an incredible nature for achieving a profitable future.

Submitted by kulvir1910 on Fri Jul 26 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt, but the ideas could be more thoroughly developed. Spend some more time fully explaining your main points and providing concrete examples to support your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Some paragraphs are slightly disjointed, and the flow between ideas could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases to improve the overall coherence.

task achievement

Ensure clarity in your writing. Some sentences are a bit confusing and could benefit from rephrasing. Make sure your ideas are clearly and directly stated.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which helps it stay focused and on-topic.

task achievement

You have attempted to provide solutions to the issues discussed, which is good. It shows you are thinking about the problem and how it can be addressed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti- social behaviour and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? How to improve it? Or what are the reasons for this and how to fix the situation?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

There are more new towns nowadays, it is more important to include public parks and sports for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

All cars that burns fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them do you agree or disagree?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

Despite huge improvements in healthcare, the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now falling. What are the reasons for this and how can the problem be tackled?