Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antartica. What are benefits or disadvantages for tourists visiting such places?

Places
with difficult
conditions
,
such
as the Sahara Desert or
Antartica
Correct your spelling
Antarctica
, are being visited by numerous tourists.
Although
visiting
such
kind of
places
brings new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
and the feeling of satisfaction to
people
who want to visit, it can not be affordable
as well as
be risky for their health. New
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
and the feeling of satisfaction can be caused by visiting
places
whit
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
difficult
conditions
. Because exactly difficult
conditions
make
people
's
brain
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brains
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
produce
harmone
Correct your spelling
hormone
hormones
, namely adrenaline
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
also
knowns
Correct your spelling
known
show examples
as epinephrine.
Moreover
, the feeling of adrenaline can be something new for
people
, who have never tried unusual things.
Hence
, going to see
places
where
conditions
are difficult can be
benefetial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
mentally for
people
.
However
,
this
adventure is dangerous for
people
's health,
costy
Correct your spelling
costly
costs
cost
for
people
's
budget
Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
show examples
as well.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task response
Expand on the advantages and disadvantages more comprehensively. For example, mention specific health risks in harsh environments or unique experiences gained. Adding more detailed and relevant examples can strengthen the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Work on constructing a clearer introduction and a definitive conclusion. Your introduction should outline the key points to be discussed, and your conclusion should summarize them and provide final insights.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, start a paragraph with a topic sentence that connects it to the previous one and ends with a concluding sentence that wraps up the paragraph’s main point.
task response
The essay discusses both benefits and disadvantages, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task response
You adequately identify potential mental benefits of traveling to challenging places, like the adrenaline rush, which is insightful.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure shows an attempt to separate different ideas into paragraphs, which helps in organizing thoughts clearly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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