Nowadays many people prefer to shop in supermarkets rather than small shops or local markets. Is this positive or negative development? Discuss and give your opinion.
Nowadays,
people
would like to provide their daily needs from supermarkets
instead
of small stores. I heartfully believe that this
change is a positive one
, and the reasons will be discussed below.
To commence with, in today’s hectic world, time
is very crucial, and one
of the ways that people
could save their time
is through doing chores in the shortest time
. Shopping from supermarkets
is one
of the ways which
could save Correct pronoun usage
apply
time
. Moreover
, providing objects from
Change preposition
in
one
place help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
people
to manage their time
, and perform their duties instead
of searching for shopping list staffs
. Fix the agreement mistake
staff
For example
, based on a survey in
Costco shopping Change preposition
of
centers
, planning to shop from Change the spelling
centres
this
store, helps individuals to stay more focused at their work place
, which is Correct your spelling
workplace
due to
the time saving
and Add a hyphen
time-saving
fulfillment
of their needs that Costco provides.
Change the spelling
fulfilment
On the other hand
, shopping from supermarkets
helps people
to have a better chance
to choose and contrast products from different brands, owing to competition among companies. In this
way, it is more possible that they acquire something with better quality and less
price than small stores. Correct word choice
lower
For instance
, every weekend, in Macys
, there is a big sale Change to a genitive case
Macy's
which
Change preposition
in which
it’s
offers go over than %50. Correct your spelling
its
This
situation, provides an astonishing chance
to
consumers, to provide their demands in the best way.
In a nutshell, buying from Change preposition
for
supermarkets
provides a great chance
to save the
Correct article usage
apply
time
in the
today’s hasty world. Correct article usage
apply
Also
, it gives a chance
to consumers to gain their wants in a bargain.Submitted by aksoysana on
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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the advantages or disadvantages of shopping from supermarkets versus small shops to provide a more balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs flow smoothly from one to another. Although cohesion is generally good, there are minor points where ideas could be connected better.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant, but try to use a variety of examples or scenarios to strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are effective and clearly present the topic and your opinion.
task achievement
You presented clear, comprehensive ideas and supported them with specific examples, making your points convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your overall structure is logical, with coherent paragraphs that each discuss a single main point.