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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian exports with four countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The line graph shows the percentages of Australian exports with four countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The graph illustrates the rate of Australian business exports for 22
years
Use synonyms
 with four different nations. In general,
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of exports to Japan and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 decreased towards the end of the timeline.
In contrast
Linking Words
, China and India experienced an
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 towards the end. Regarding China,
export
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the export
show examples
 rate stood at around 4% in 1990 and it gradually rose to 5% in 2000.
Then
Linking Words
 there was a dramatic increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 at around 28% in 2012 which is the highest comparing other nations. In terms of India,
proportion
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the proportion
show examples
 of exports remained
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
 between 1990 and 2000. From 2000 to 2010, it gradually rose from 4% to about 7% before it fell to 5% in 2012. Turning to Japan, it experienced a steady decrease over the 22
years
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 of
period
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the period
show examples
 from around 26% to just over 15%. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, it fluctuated first 10
years
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 and
then
Linking Words
 there was a gradual
fell
Replace the word
fall
show examples
 from 11% to 5% next 10
years
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, there was a slight rise from 2010 to 2012 from 5% to 6%.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
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