IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#activity #impact #plants #animals #world #people #actions #change
Up
to
Correct your spelling
so
show examples
 far , mankind has been having a detrimental impact on
nature
 and creatures
in addition
, it has led to irreversible damage to our planet. Today , the world is being changed by
pollution
Correct article usage
the pollution
show examples
 of humans and manufacturing.
For example
 , several companies are taking out their poisonous wastes into the offshore.
Besides
, all vehicles are causing air pollution
moreover
 it
contributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute
show examples
 to climate change. If we look at the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 global warming we can see human activity thereby ın my opinion ,humans have a negative impact on the green-blue planet. Others argue that some groups of people are trying to conserve
nature
.
For instance
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe, the government has already taken measures to save habitat.
Moreover
, their children are being taught in school via education in order to they can have more mindful
across
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the environment when they grow up. Because of that , a smidgen group are more cautious in the face of the planet than the others yet
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not have
conscience
Add an article
a conscience
show examples
 about
nature
though
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.
Finally
, ıf we want to leave a quality environment to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
posterity, we must produce responsible solutions for that problem.
To conclude
,
thus
 far people have already brought about destruction of the
nature
 but we still have a chance to preserve the world.
Submitted by kickbox191 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point and flows logically into the next. For example, you can separate the discussion of each viewpoint into distinct paragraphs for better clarity and flow.
task achievement
It's important to fully develop your ideas with more detailed explanations and stronger supporting examples. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
For task achievement, try to engage more deeply with the opposing views and provide counterarguments where necessary. This demonstrates a more comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have made a clear effort to discuss both views, which is a key requirement of the task.
relevant specific examples
You have provided some relevant examples, which helps to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • negative impact
  • extinct
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitat destruction
  • mitigate
  • reverse
  • stricter regulations
  • protected areas
  • endangered species
  • education and awareness campaigns
  • biodiversity
  • consequences
  • renewable energy sources
  • organic farming
  • eco-tourism
  • environmental regulations
  • sustainable practices
  • natural ecosystems
  • preserve biodiversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: