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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below shows the participation of people over 15 in selected sports and physical recreation activities by gender in Australia during the period 2011-12.

The table below shows the participation of people over 15 in selected sports and physical recreation activities by gender in Australia during the period 2011-12.
#participation #people #sports #recreation #activities #gender #australia #period
The table compares data about male and female involvement in the selection of
activities
 in Australia in 2011 and 2012.
Overall
, there are some unnoticeable differences in the proportion of male and female involvement in the selected
activities
, where males were less likely than females to take part in sporting
activities
. The most popular activity for both genders was walking for exercise, where the
percentage
 of
women
 was twice
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
men
Change preposition
of men
show examples
.
By contrast
, yoga was the least popular activity
overall
. Just around 3% of
women
 did yoga,
while
 no
men
.
Add a missing verb
did.
show examples
 Netball saw a similar
percentage
 of genders. The kinds of
activities
 where
women
 are less liked than
men
 are golf,football and basketball.A
percentage
 of
men
 around 2,8% and 4,8% played basketball and football,
while
 no
women
 played.
However
, the
percentage
 of
men
 who played gold was 8,2%. A smaller
percentage
 of males than females went swimming or diving,
although
 fitness and gym are more popular for
women
instead
 of
men
.
Submitted by janmuldayevaa1 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, percentage, women, men with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼

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