IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for evryone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge of experience.

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Presently, various local dialects are facing extinction
due to
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 the growth in popularity of
English
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, as many schools choose to neglect them to focus on teaching
English
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for
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to
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 their students. In my
opnion
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opinion
, learning
English
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 is still an essential task in contemporary society,
however
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, efforts should be made to prevent local
languages
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 from disappearing. There are numerous reasons why I support the education of
English
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. First and foremost,
English
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 provides opportunities to pursue higher education and better career
prospect
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prospects
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. Indeed, Being fluent in
English
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 allows individuals to attend courses in developed countries
such
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 as the US, acquiring advanced knowledge and achieving great
accomplishment
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accomplishments
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 in academia.
Moreover
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,
English
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also
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open
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opens
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 doors for jobs in multinational organisations, including big names
such
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 as Apple or Pepsi, engendering better incomes and prosperous career paths.
Nevertheless
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, one should not forget to learn their local
languages
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, as it provides a deep root into their ancestors' culture and tradition, which helps to nourish their mental health.
As a result
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, the government and educational institutes should join
force
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forces
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 to keep the local dialects alive, by implementing several policies and regulations that enforce the teaching and learning of
such
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languages
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.
For example
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, policymakers could issue a regulation that
make
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makes
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 teaching certain local
languages
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 compulsory,
while
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 schools should hold different activities to promote the joy
in
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of
show examples
 learning and practicing the
languages
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. In conclusion, it is inevitable that
English
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 is an
importan
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important
 language to learn as it provides chances to
persue
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pursue
 higher education and promising careers.
However
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, local
languages
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 should not be neglected and efforts should be made by the governments
as well as
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 educational bodies to ensure the survival of said
languages
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.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more varied linking phrases and transitional words between paragraphs to ensure smooth flow. This will help signal the relationship between different parts of your essay.
task achievement
You provided some reasons and examples, but try to include additional relevant specific examples from real-world scenarios or personal experiences to strengthen your arguments further.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction, outlining your opinion on the importance of learning English as well as preserving local languages, which sets the stage for the discussion effectively.
supported main points
Your reasons for supporting the education of English, such as higher education opportunities and better career prospects, are clear and logical.
complete response
You offered a balanced view by discussing the importance of local languages and suggesting ways to preserve them, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
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