IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the year 2000-2008 intended to stay in the UK. And the pie-chart shows reasons for migration in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and chart below give information about migration to the UK. The graph below shows how long immigrants in the year 2000-2008 intended to stay in the UK. And the pie-chart shows reasons for migration in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line graph and pie chart
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 information about migration and the
reason
Use synonyms
 why they came to the
UK
Use synonyms
 between 2000 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, most of them choose to stay up to two
years
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 as the number of
immigrants
Use synonyms
 has
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 over the
years
Use synonyms
, hitting its peak in 2008 having 250
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
immigrants
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the people who choose to stay for 4
years
Use synonyms
 or even more have stayed static over the period in the class,
this
Linking Words
 category contains 150
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
immigrants
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the people who choose to stay up to 2 or 4
years
Use synonyms
 have the lowest rankings in the class,
however
Linking Words
, they showed a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 increase between the
years
Use synonyms
 2007 and 2008 which hit around 100
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
immigrants
Use synonyms
. The
immigrants
Use synonyms
 stated the
reason
Use synonyms
 why they came
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
 was for work,
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 of them
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 the same
reason
Use synonyms
, which is the most popular amongst them, having the highest proportion in the pie chart which is 36%, another
reason
Use synonyms
 why
immigrants
Use synonyms
 come here is because of studies, as 32% of
immigrants
Use synonyms
 come in the
UK
Use synonyms
 to study.
Additionally
Linking Words
, 16% of
immigrants
Use synonyms
 stated they
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 to see their families or even join them,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 had not given an exact
reason
Use synonyms
 why they came
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
UK
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words reason, uk, years, immigrants with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • immigrate
  • emigrate
  • migration
  • immigrant
  • intended length of stay
  • short-term stay
  • long-term stay
  • trends
  • peaks
  • troughs
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • primary reasons
  • comparative analysis
  • contributing factors
  • data interpretation
  • work-related migration
  • study-related migration
  • family reunification
  • asylum seeking
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