IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.
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The given graph shows
the
Correct article usage
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information on the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who took part in different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia between 2000 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who participated in film clubs always led from 2000 to 2020. From 2000 to 2010, the
number
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 of participants in film clubs decreased slightly, which was above 60
people
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 in 2000, 60
people
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 in 2005 and about 57
people
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 period,
it
Correct pronoun usage
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of
Change preposition
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both musical performances and table tennis increased. In table tennis, the
number
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 rose from about 16 to 20 between 2000 and 2005 and
then
Linking Words
 it stayed at 20 in 2010. In musical performances, it did not change from 2000 to 2005
then
Linking Words
 rose from o to about 12 in 2010. From 2010 to 2020, the
number
Use synonyms
 of participants in film clubs, table tennis and musical performances grew up , reaching about 68, 57, and 19
people
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 respectively in 2020. In martial arts, there was always fluctuation, there were about 36, 32, 37, 33, and 34
people
Use synonyms
 every five years from 2000 to 2020.
Besides
Linking Words
, in amateur dramatics, the
number
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 of
people
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 increased slightly from approximately 26 to 28 between 2000 to 2005
then
Linking Words
 reduced remarkably and reached 7 in 2020

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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